Wait

Impatience. "Irritation at having to wait or at somebody or something that causes a wait. Eagerness to do something immediately, and unwillingness to wait."

Yep, the Encarta Word English Dictionary describes my situation quite well.

Should I? Shouldn't I? As I wrestle to make my decisions, I read my devotion for the day, "Wait".

I start thinking too hard again: Is God prompting these thoughts, or are they my own desires that I'm not submitting to Him? God says it a little louder, "Wait".

The questions keep coming... faster and faster... then scream to a holt as I hear ever so clearly, "WAIT"!


Patience. "The ability to endure waiting or delay without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties."

Wait. A tall order for one who is realising more and more just how impatient she really is!!

First day back at school

The girls are back at 'school' this morning, and I forgot how difficult the first day of school often is. Thankfully most of the other kids went back yesterday so had adjusted a bit before the girls went back. Poor Sarah was very upset this morning and didn't want to go to school, but thanks to Spot (yeah, remember those good old Spot books?), she agreed to get in the car without anymore screaming. It's a "Spot goes to school" book with pictures of all the fun things he does at school, like painting, which we rarely do at home because it makes such a mess!

Oh, and we made up a "Spot loves school" song which helped too. At school they learnt a song about packing away which is cute - singing seems to really help, especially with transitions. Anything that helps is good! I find the singing is really good with my girls.

To my surprise, neither of them actually cried when I left, though they did look pretty sad. But I guess that's to be expected. Even more surprising, I didn't cry. There were lots of mornings last year, especially when they first started at school and when they were very upset, where I just sat in the car and balled my eyes out, and calling my support hotline (Mum) for reassurance that I was doing the right thing. But as they say it does get easier, and I know it has been good for all of us.

Now it's time to get back to work - the deadline for submissions for the magazine was yesterday so I need to get my act together. Two weeks before we go to print... four days to 'focus' on getting it done. Good thing God's got it all under control and a number of people had sent in their articles last week.

Step by step

I've just been blown away again by the way that God speaks so personally!! This morning I read this in "God Calling" for today.

Do not plan

All is well. Wonderful things are happening. Do not limit God at all. He cares and provides.

Uproot self - the channel-blocker. Do not plan ahead; the way will unfold step by step. Leave tomorrow's burden. Christ is the great Burden-bearer. You cannot bear His load and He only expects you to carry a little day share.

I love planning and organising - without it life feels too chaotic and out of control. I've been stressing about 'plans' for this year. The commitment/responsibility part of me wants to figure out what God wants us to do and have it neatly mapped out. But God doesn't work like that. That's Alison's way, not His.


Psalm 86: 10-12

Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.

Fantastic

Saw Fantastic Mr Fox today, and was very impressed. Laughed lots. Highly recommend it.

Jesus didn't just suck it in

Matthew 26

36Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." 37He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
39Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

I realise that often my reaction to my sorrow is selfish and tainted by my sinful nature. I don't pray and take my concerns to God like I should, but it's comforting to see that Jesus didn't just "suck it in" and put on a brave face for everyone else's sake - sure it was with his closest companions that he said what he did, but he actually told them that his soul was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.

The step I often leave out is praying - the most important step.

"Just suck it in"

I don't agree that this is the solution.

The end of another year

Psalm 119:28
"My soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word."