Be strong and take heart

I had to laugh out loud at God's unbelievably impeccable timing giving us the exact word of encouragement we need at the precise moment we need it. When everything in me is screaming, 'But, Lord I can't do it, I just CAN'T, I want to obey You, but it's too hard', He steps in and says, 'Be strong and take heart'.

I've been thinking about which Bible character I'd like to put myself in the skin of. Initially I was thinking about the well-known characters that we see God doing great things through (David, Moses, Esther), but then I thought about the bleeding woman. I think I'd like to get in her skin - to have enough faith in Jesus, to reach out in desperation and touch his cloak, to be healed, and to be able to tell others of Jesus' amazing power to heal. I love that in the account of this story in Matthew, Jesus tells the bleeding woman to 'take heart', that her faith has healed her.

abandon

Why 'the gospel' and not Jesus?

One of my pet peeves has been (and still is) references to 'the gospel' instead of Jesus. Maybe it's time for me to get over this? Maybe it shouldn't make me agitated, maybe it's a good thing?

I'm assuming the majority of the time when people say 'the gospel' the intention is that this incorporates Jesus' life, death and resurrection. But why do we use the term 'the gospel' instead of talking about Jesus?

Sounds kind of silly, but I wonder whether we can end up worshiping 'the gospel' instead of Jesus? I guess it depends on our definition of the gospel. But it's a bit like the Bible, it's an essential part of our knowing Jesus, but we don't worship the Bible, we worship Jesus.

Anyhow, if references to the gospel point people to Jesus then I'm all for them. As long as it ends up being about Jesus. Maybe I'm just confusing myself?!

If you could put yourself into the skin of any Bible character, which one would it be?

Charles Swindoll poses this question in his book, Moses - A Man of Selfless Devotion. My blog hasn't been a very interactive one in the past (understatement - in fact you could count the number of comments on one hand...) but thought I'd give it another shot.

If you could put yourself into the skin of any Bible character, which one would it be? And why?

I'm still thinking about my response, will probably post it later.

Waiting for the clouds to clear

I can only imagine what it'd be like to trek up a mountain for days and arrive at the top surrounded by cloud. Standing at the top of the mountain, waiting for the clouds to clear, hoping they will. Feeling exhausted but at the same time filled with anticipation and delight about the view soon to appear.

Image found at http://www.ipc.ac.nz/en/news/0811_01.php

Make me strong again

I love the honesty of the Psalms. I smiled when I read this verse tonight. it's just so real and kind of matter-of-fact. I love that God chose the Psalms to be included in the Bible. I love even more that He promises to be our Strength.

'I am sad and tired. Make me strong again as you have promised.' Psalm 119:28

So many emotions in one day...

Catching up with an old friend over coffee. Watching Sarah and Lucy play with my friend's little girl. Tantrum number 1 (actually, perhaps number 2 or 3 by this stage...). Listening to beautiful music on the radio. Hearing that this week is marriage celebration week. Opening my uni assessment results and getting a distinction for the subject I'd least expect it in! Sarah sharing the excitement with me and giving me a cuddle. Saying thanks to God with Sarah and Lucy. Listening to the girls giggling in the bath. Our cat coming over to sit on my lap and have a cuddle. Another tantrum. Catching up with some more friends over a cuppa. Hearing my little girl coughing in her sleep - anticipating a long night. Being reminded that God tells me to cast all my cares on Him. Being surprised to have a pretty good night's sleep - thanks God!!

Friendship

I've been thinking a lot about friendship of late. It's amazing how much you learn out of a broken relationship. Still so much to learn, but I'm learning more about what I value in a friendship, and what I potentially bring to a friendship. I guess mistakes are an opportunity to reflect, and think about how you’d like to do things differently in the future.

One of my best friends was the first person I phoned after finding out some pretty devastating news last year, and she offered to come and spend the night with me - it meant so much to have her there, to be able to cry with her, have her pray with me, and just be together. I was talking with her about friendship yesterday, particularly in relation to guy/girl friendships, and she reminded me that there will always be an element of risk in relationships, but that honesty is really important, knowing you can be up front with each other.

Friendship. Someone else suggested that appreciating friendship is learning to live in the moment – learning to value a person and their friendship for what we bring to each other’s lives in the here and now. Friendship. So many issues yet to be explored.

Complicated

Last night as I lay in bed, the main thought running through my mind was 'life is complicated'.

Since I woke up this morning, God has constantly been reminding me to enjoy today, and stop worrying about tomorrow. Yeah, life may be complicated, but God gives me the strength to deal with today. He knows my needs. Matthew 6:31-35

My grandparents were down from Queensland recently for my Pa's 80th birthday. Yesterday we took the girls to the beach and they absolutely loved it, especially Lucy. Lucy lives for the moment, and enjoys all the good things God's given us. Meanwhile I was getting frustrated because I thought it was too cold for them to be in the water, but Lucy wouldn't listen to me, she was determined to get in the water. I was worried they might get sick again if they got too cold. I also don't like getting sand everywhere.

Sarah and I did have fun drawing in the sand and building various shapes, but I know it would have been more enjoyable if I'd been prepared to worry a little less, and just enjoy the opportunity God had given us. To enjoy today.

Using our Imaginations

I read this interesting thought in Hope 103.2's Life Words (daily devotional), titled 'A Different Way of Seeing', on Friday.

The writer to the Hebrews sees faith as focussed on what we may not yet see. God may even guide our imaginations to stir us and sustain us when things look bleak.

I guess God may sometimes choose to use our imaginations to give us hope? I guess though ultimately our hope should be in Jesus.

Closed doors

Not sure who first said it, but they say that when God closes one door He opens another. I've also heard that sometimes He opens a window.

I do like it when He provides clarity, but I think I prefer the clarity that comes with the open door (or window) than the clarity that comes with the closed door.

Remembering back to the verse the girls from Hornsby Baps gave me with a box of goodies last year, Jeremiah 29:11-13. Through Jesus we have a hope and a future better than anything we've imagined. Oh to seek Him with ALL my heart!

If you could be any animal, what would you be?

I think I'd like to be an eagle. How about you?

Courageous and serving action

Just been looking at John 21. The notes on verses 15-17 in my Touch Point Bible say, '[Jesus] was helping Peter see that love is more than words; it is courageous and serving action.'

Friendship

This afternoon my amazing parents said they'd look after the girls while I went for a walk. As I was walking I listened to my iPod and resisted the urge to sing along. 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus' by Mary Mary was one of the songs playing and it got me pondering more about friendship.

What makes a good friend? How can I be a good friend? Am I a good friend?

Makes me think about some of the friendships I've lost (or people I've lost touch with), and some that I hope I haven't lost.

I like this summary of friendship from gospel.com based on Proverbs 27:17, 'As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.'

A good friend is not someone who necessarily agrees with everything you do and say--it's somebody who lovingly challenges you to be a better person. We grow in maturity when we can test our thoughts and ideas against another person, and when we're open to correction when we're wrong.

Moving clouds

Yesterday while Sarah and I were in the pool we looked up at the sky and watched the clouds zipping across the sky, just before that big storm hit. It was pretty cool. I've never seen clouds move so fast.

Sometimes just looking up at the sky blows my mind. Especially at night when the stars are out. It's not often that I make time to admire the beautiful world we live in. I should do it more often.

Time to stop limiting God

This morning as I was driving the girls to see their Dad, I sensed God saying to me, "Stop limiting me".

I've been pondering how God could best use all the life experiences I've had, and the gifts He's given me.

I look back and see very clearly God's hand at work each step of the way, providing so many opportunities to serve Him and to grow in Him - singing in the worship team at church, leading Sunday School and Girls Club, leading on Vision Valley and Crusader Camps, leaving school at the end of year 10 to study at business college, working at business college, doing kids' talks at church, leading worship at church, teaching shorthand at an evening college, starting at AGL in admin then working in health and safety doing reports, preparing budgets, co-leading Bible study at another church, being Personal Assistant to the Human Resources General Manager and working ridiculously long hours sometimes, leading a team on beach mission, getting married, doing a ministry formations course, then working more generally in Human Resources on policies and procedures, meanwhile completing a degree in Adult Education that AGL significantly contributed to financially, taking on the role of worship coordinator at church, running training sessions at work for our incident reporting system and Health, Safety & Environment generally, traveling to Malawi and Mozambique to consider heading back for long-term mission, falling pregnant and going in to hospital 33 weeks pregnant and giving birth to a beautiful little girl who was six weeks premature, having troubles breast-feeding my baby and making sure she put on weight, falling pregnant again not long after that and studying pastoral care, then giving birth to another beautiful girl who was also premature but only four weeks but who was on CPAP for five days as she had troubles breathing, having a baby with bad reflux and finally discovering dairy was also upsetting her tummy, separating and realising that the marriage was beyond repair, living as a single mum, singing in the worship team at church again, joining the Kids Hope team as a mentor, editing a magazine that goes out to Baptist churches, moving in with Mum and Dad again, divorcing, and now about to study primary teaching.

Through it all, God's been teaching me that He is faithful, that He is everything I need, that He will guide my steps as I trust Him with all my heart and stop leaning on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).

My NEW Adventure Book

A few months ago when Up was on at the movies, I took Sarah to see it - her first movie, which I've now decided probably wasn't the best movie for a 3 year old. She lasted till about half way through, till the scary dog part, which was just as well.

Tonight I watched the whole movie on DVD so I could see the end. I loved it when the old man opened his adventure book and discovered Ellie had added photos of their life together, and then left a message at the end, "Thanks for the adventure, go and have a new one".

Tonight I've been looking back over my personal adventure book (my journal) for the last twelve months. It's great to look back over your journey. But now...

It's time for a new adventure, with God leading the way. I'm excited. Just read this on Our Daily Bread for today: "By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called . . . . And he went out, not knowing where he was going. —Hebrews 11:8"

Bitter Providence

I've read about Ruth (the book of the Bible) on a few people's blogs today, so had another read of it for myself. It's been a very long time since I last read it.

John Piper's book A Sweet and Bitter Providence sounds like an interesting read. There's a brief video about it on the Desiring God website.

Still pondering why God specifically drew me to the book of Ruth. As I read John's comments about Ruth this stands out:

Is God's bitter providence the last word?... Everywhere I look in the world today, whether near or far, the issue for real people in real life is, Can I trust and love the God who has dealt me this painful hand in life? That is the question the book of Ruth intends to answer.

Bitter providence. Divorced. Now what? In the hands of our Sovereign God. The end of the story is yet to be written.

Recognising emotions

Last week I realised that I value the ability to express emotion quite highly. I realised that as a Mum, something I really want to encourage my little girls to do is to express their emotions rather than pretending they don't exist and bottling them up. I think perhaps because of this I tend to be more open and share more than some people are probably comfortable with and/or sooner than they are ready for me to share it with them.

I'm not even sure what the link with the following verses was in my thinking before I started blogging, but for some reason I was thinking about this particular thought, and these verses (Matthew 10:29-31):

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

Maybe God's wanting me to see that it's important to recognise my emotions - my feelings of fear and sadness at a significant "loss" in my life - and to hold those in one hand, but at the same time in the other hand I need to hold the hope that He offers me in Jesus... the hope that Christmas should be about, remembering that God has blessed me richly eternally, that I have hope of new life in Him, that right now He is holding me in His Mighty hand, protecting, comforting and guiding... oh to sit at His feet and let Him comfort me, to let Him reassure me that is Sovereign, that He is in control, and to hear His voice, "You are worth more than many sparrows... keep trusting me."

What a great God we have. How often I forget this and instead get caught up in my emotions.

Dead trees

What happens to dead trees? Seriously, I was thinking about this today as I was looking at a tree that Mum suspects is dead in our new backyard. It looks just like a tree in winter, only it's spring so it should have flowers (says she who has a brown thumb, not a green one!). That's of course if it's a tree that has flowers. But it doesn't even have any leaves. It's a beautiful tree even though it does look dead, I'm guessing it'd be even more beautiful with leaves and flowers. How sad if it has died.

Will the branches eventually fall off? Or will it just stay like it is and never have leaves again? Guessing there's no way to revive it?

While I'm thinking of dead plants, at my old work, I worked on "Level 21" with the executives for a few years and our chef (yeah thankfully times have changed!!) gave me a cactus for my desk. I told him it wasn't such a good idea as I'm not good with plants, but he assured me it's not possible to kill a cactus. Unfortunately I proved him wrong. Only took a month or so and the cactus died. I think I might have over-watered it at one point. Oops.