Sorrow for a Purpose

So my devotion last night referred to 2 Corinthians 7:10 which I looked up to see the surrounding passage - I'm sure I've never seen this passage in the Bible before.  If it was a passage in the Old Testament I wouldn't be as surprised, but being Corinthians I was a bit surprised.  I can't believe I've been a Christian for nearly half a century and yet there's so much of the Bible I haven't read.  I'm very slack.  

Anyway, the verse says, "For God can use sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin and seek salvation.  We will never regret that kind of sorrow...".  I guess it's not the kind of verse we'd typically put in letter of encouragement when someone's going through tough stuff.

I think I needed to hear it though.  When I'm going my own way, and not putting God first I'm sinning.  How often I put other things before God, usually without even realising it... relationships with other people, my worries (very big one for me!!  I'm an expert at worrying), looking good and doing the 'right' thing.  Yeah, so often I haven't been putting God first.  My sorrow has reminded me to seek Him.

I bumped into an older friend from Church this afternoon who reminded me that I need to keep asking God to just keep me close to Him.  She didn't say this part, but especially so in times of sorrow.  I need to lean hard on Him.  

Lord help me to lean on You and put You first in everything.  Please use the sorrow in my life to help me to turn  from sin and doing things my way, and instead turn to You!

There's No Place Like Home

Amazingly the girls didn't ask, "Are we there yet?" as we drove and drove and drove this weekend, but Mum, Dad and I were secretly asking it ourselves.  Sarah did say, "Mummy, we want to go home!" within only an hour or so of leaving.

The good thing about a weekend like that is bedtime tonight was blissful (so far anyway!) - I think they're both already asleep, and no-one put up a fight going to bed.  Yippee.  

Though it was a long drive it was a lot of fun.  We're also really grateful for DVD players, I don't think we would have survived the trip otherwise.  We heard the first half of "Finding Nemo" about ten times in two and a half days, and... (spoke to soon, interlude number one while putting Sarah back to bed again...) 

Poor Lucy had tummy troubles (understatement) which is not fun when traveling in a confined space, and Sarah told me at one point on the way up that something was hurting her and soon after that 'something' appeared for all to see and smell.  Poor thing vomited all over her rug and in her bag of travel goodies.  I think it was because she hadn't eaten much when I gave her antibiotics, so needless to say I didn't make that mistake again!  So the car smelt really good, sorry Dad!

At one point, Sarah pointed to Dad and said, "His name's Burger".  It was hilarious coming from her, we call him that all the time but she normally calls him Parney.

Lucy's really confidently walking around now.  Dad calls her "Franky" - she hasn't quite got the bending the legs part down pat, so she does walk a bit like Frankinstein.  It's very cute though.  

I have the best parents - they are amazing.  Not many Grandparents would be brave enough to take on a weekend like that! 

Though it was exhausting driving so far with two little ones, we have lots of good memories, and we finally made it home late last night after basically a whole day of traveling!   Sarah was so excited to be back home.  I enjoyed our little 'holiday', but I agree with Dorothy, "There's no place like home".

Confusing Emotions

I'm realising more and more how little I understand about life...  How little I understand about emotions and how to effectively deal with them!

This morning I cried at playgroup - thankfully Lucy was quite clingy today so she was cuddling me at the time, so I kind of hid behind her as I cried.  Norma came over to check I was OK and said she was sorry she had to head off and gave me a quick hug, she's great.  Other than that, I sort of pulled myself together for the girls' sake and got on with sweeping the floor with one hand while holding Lucy with the other - she really needed to be at home in bed after our big weekend of traveling, but I didn't realise earlier that I was meant to help set up morning tea and wash up, and I hadn't helped with either as they mentioned it after other people had already done it, so I needed to at least do the sweeping.  I'd made cake and brought the 1 litre of milk which was a bit of an effort - sounds ridiculous, but it's a challenge on top of everything else, but I didn't realise there were other things I needed to do while I was there.  It's written on the roster you receive at the beginning of the term but I hadn't really paid attention - too much else going on I guess.

I'm confused and frustrated by my emotions.  I guess that's why I need to put my hope and trust in God who is a Solid Rock, and who doesn't change from day to day like my emotions do.  In fact, I think my emotions, especially at the moment, change even more frequently than that!

My journey so far is challenging my thinking about how we can all help each other in our journeys.  I've been chatting to another woman in playgroup who I'd really like to encourage as she's going through some tough stuff, but I don't seem to have any resources to do it.  This morning I just felt overwhelmed as I heard parts of her story.  I realise we all have our struggles and difficult issues we're dealing with, but I guess some of our struggles are more difficult to handle at certain times.  

So I'm still processing this morning, but I know one thing I definitely need to do more is take my worries and concerns and questions to God, just like David did in the Psalms.  But most importantly I need to trust in His unfailing love.

Big sigh.

Singing Together

The other day Sarah said to me as we were traveling in the car, "Mummy, let's sing together".  She knows most of the words to the CD that's been in the car for months because I can't be bothered to change it, besides I like it.  It's a compilation of songs by Chris Tomlin and Chris Rice.  I love singing with Sarah - it's so special to hear my little girl sing her with all her heart, "You are amazing God".

Here was my two year old reminding me how great our God is.  He is amazing!  He's blessed me with two beautiful little girls, who are like little angels (though a lot more work than angels, and angels who sometimes transform into children who want to be independent and have their own way!!).  

I love the words of the song we sang together, especially these ones:

"Indescribable, uncontainable,  

You placed the stars in the sky 

and You know them by name.  

You are amazing God  

Incomparable, unchangeable  

You see the depths of my heart 

and You love me the same  

You are amazing God"

Isn't God so good, knowing the depths of my heart, my innermost thoughts, and yet still loving me the same?  Yes, You are amazing God!!

My New Mentor

There's nothing quite like a fresh, hot cup of tea and banana bread when you're not feeling 100%.  Mmm.

This morning  I met with new mentor.  Sometimes I think we need to get to a really low point to realise we need to make some changes in our lives - not that I'm suggesting I want this to happen often, but I see the way that God's used the tough stuff to help me grow.  A few weeks back was one of those low points and I think there were a few actions I need to take, one of them being to find a new mentor.  I had a mentor last year when we were living on College Campus, but since moving off I hadn't got around to finding another one.

I'm also excited that another good friend, who was also my mentor a few years back, has suggested we start a peer mentor group, which her husband's researching and preparing materials for as part of his College studies.  Interesting how we usually assume mentors have to be a one-on-one relationship.  What a great idea to have a few of us who can mentor each other in a group setting.  Not sure who the others will be as yet, but I'm looking forward to it.

Anyway, this morning was good, except that poor Sarah's really sick so we didn't really get to chat about certain stuff.  Sarah now has a habit of saying, "Stop talking, Mummy, stop talking" if she's getting worried by what I'm talking about.  Good reminder to be careful what I say in front of her.

I'm really looking forward to having some people to encourage and challenge me spiritually again.  I feel like I've been in the desert for a while.  Yeah, Church is good, but it's not the same as smaller group settings where you can be really open and honest and pray with each other one-to-one.  As a Mum, it's a real challenge finding time, and emotional energy, to do this.  I miss Bible Studies, although on that front last Friday I joined a group of ladies from Thornleigh Baps who meet weekly and have been looking at Jeremiah.  It was excellent - what a great bunch of ladies who want to keep growing in God and seek to glorify Him despite the challenges we face in every day life.

Thanks Lord for leading me through the desert, and for using the tough stuff to redirect me and help me grow.  Please help me to allow you to mould and shape me, even when it hurts, knowing that You're my Strength and Refuge.

A little lost!

OK.  I'm a little lost.  Like most things in life now, there are too many choices.  

What font colour do I want to use, what background, what to put in my profile...  Anyone with any tips for blogging, let me know.  Otherwise, I'll have another go when I'm feeling better.  I think the antibiotics are finally starting to clear my sinuses, and I think the night-time codral cold and flu's just about kicking in, feeling very sleepy...

Arriving in the 21st Century

So I'm finally joining the however many millions of people across the globe who've been blogging for ages now.  I figure it's probably something I'll enjoy.  I like to journal.  I like to ponder about life and I like to hear other people's thoughts about life.  So here begins my journey.