All good things must come to an end

Tonight was the final episode of this series of Doc Martin. What a shame. It was a great final episode though - I love a happy ending. I also think it was the most realistic (albeit a bit quick) labour footage I've seen, apart from the horrid videos they show you in birthing classes. I felt her pain. Gonna miss the show. Sad I know.

Skipping a Beat

There are times my heart still skips a beat... like when you watch a good old chick flick. I know there's a whole lot more to love, and there's a whole lot more to life than that kind of love (like experiencing the awesome love and grace God offers us!), but sometimes it's still nice when your heart skips a beat, even if maybe it shouldn't.

Organ donation

I've been thinking more about organ donation the last few days. I have yet another sinus infection, despite the recent surgery, and today discovered I also now have conjunctivitis and managed to pull a muscle in my neck (the doctor told me the name of it, but can't remember what it was called). I sound like a hypocondriac.

But got me thinking, lucky sinuses aren't an organ that could be donated to someone when I die - you'd probably be better off without sinuses than with mine. Maybe if you didn't get allergies they might be alright though. And not sure my right cornea would be much good, seeing as it's not actually mine, someone kindly donated it to me when they died - guessing it can't later be passed on again? Though it has been very good, especially compared to my own cornea that they had to remove a few years ago.

Not only am I keeping the doctor in business, but also the pharmacists - more antibiotics. Much as I hate them, sometimes they're a necessity.

'Life, it's nothing like the brochure'. I think it's a quote from 'As Good as it Gets' but can't remember for sure.

Espoused Theory

I was chatting with a friend about something that particularly stood out to me from tonight's sermon - about making sure we are worshiping God first, nothing and no-one else (that we don't have any other 'idols'). She reminded me that it's easy to say, but not so easy to do. She encouraged me that we need to keep submitting everything to God, and asking Him to help us in our weakness.

Made me think of espoused theories, and how it's easy to say we will do something, but what we actually end up doing (theory-in-use) often doesn't match up. But the great encouragement we can take as Christians is that God's Spirit can enable us to move from an espoused theory to a theory-in-action.

Challenged

Sometimes I really dislike being challenged. It often requires me to take action, to make a change. I like 'doing', and taking action, but only when it's comfortable, or at least relatively comfortable. Being challenged is usually uncomfortable. But ultimately it's about growing and being transformed, and that's a good thing.

After pondering more on Sunday night's sermon, and other discussions recently in Bible Study, I decided I have been tempted to turn to the internet instead of to Jesus. I know this will sound very strange, but it really has been an issue for me. So I've removed my profile from some sites. I'm still thinking about the whole blogging thing and working through whether I should stop blogging altogether.

I've been challenged that I need to be relying completely on Jesus, not on anything or anyone else, and that includes the internet!!

Omnipotence

Sarah was playing with a toy ute after I wrote my last blog entry and I noticed something I'd never seen before on the side of it - a sticker that said 'omnipotence'. Unlimited power. Yes, our God is omnipotent, all-powerful. What a great, timely reminder. I love the ways God teaches us. He also gave me a lovely surprise too. Thanks God!

Faithfulness

I know I seem to quote songs a lot, but this one just keeps going over and over in my head thanks to 103.2.

'I'm tired of putting one foot in front of the other.' Can't remember the rest of the song, other than something like 'let me rest my soul'.

Just read a post by Jean where she suggests that faithfulness enables us to 'persevere when the days feel long and weary, and I'm tired of putting one step in front of the other'. Faithfulness. Must be a fruit I'm lacking in.

Incredible Sculptures

I've been learning about different artists for uni and came across this guy, Ron Mueck, whose work is incredible. I'm not usually into art, but this is pretty impressive. Take a look. The first images that appear on this youtube clip aren't the better ones in my opinion, so hang in there to see some amazing sculptures. If you google him you'll find some other photos of his work - they just look so realistic!!

Here's another link with some more pics and info about his sculptures that were able to be viewed in the National Gallery of Victoria earlier this year.

He makes it enough

As I lay in bed listening to Sarah cough and waiting for the next lot of panadol to kick in I was thinking about something else in last night's sermon, that Jesus takes even the smallest thing we have to offer and makes it enough. When it comes to just resting in Him and waiting for God to reveal the next step, I feel I don't have much to offer God... sometimes it seems like only a teeny-tiny amount of trust. But His grace is sufficient for me.

For the last few days the words of this song have often been playing in my head from 103.2: 'I'm giving it all back to You, this is my surrender'. Looked it up and it's a Steven Curtis Chapman song. Great words.

Does it all sound the same?
Are my words getting through?
I’ve been trying so hard
and I’m about to break
So here I am with all I have

And I’m giving it all back to You
All back to You
I surrender
Yeah, I’m giving it all back to You
All back to You
This is my surrender
Take it all

And what song can I sing
but the song that You give
I have nothing to bring
that did not come from Your hand
So here I am with all I have

All my plans and all my dreams
I’m giving it all to You
I lay it all down at Your feet
I’m Yours

So what song can I sing but this song?

Our Great Provider

Though I still feel like a dog, it was great to get to church tonight and hear a great message reminding me that Jesus is my great Provider, that I need to look to Him and Him alone to provide all my needs. Not anyone or anything else. In Jesus I am made new. Only in Jesus.

I really hope we can all get some decent rest tonight and that the sickness ends soon.

Made new in Jesus

I love the words of the song, 'Here We are Now' by Abandon. It's often playing on 103.2 and it was only yesterday that I really noticed the words. It was one of those songs that I didn't particularly love when I first heard it, but the more I've heard it, the more I've grown to like it.

'You are my hope when I'm broken... I am made new'

In Jesus we're made new. What a promise!! What an amazing God!!

Instrumental vs Relational

I really dislike reading papers and books put together by intellectuals. Words for the sake of words bug me. It's good to challenge your thinking, but a lot of documents put together by intellectuals seem to only challenge your thinking if you think hard enough to figure out the language they use, and then what they're trying to say.

Unfortunately uni love these kinds of documents. I was reading one of them today for maths curriculum and the author referred to this idea of instrumental understanding and relational understanding. I won't try and explain it here, I kind of struggled my way through it. But it made me think about relationships with other people and how the internet could be considered a tool that provides us with instrumental understanding. We learn about each other through emails, blogs, facebook, online dating services. It's the quick way to build a picture, but it's not the full picture, it's only a tiny glimpse of the picture and the picture someone wants us to see.

Relationships the way they should be are based on relational understanding. Sounds kind of obvious but I think the internet prevents us from gaining this kind of understanding of other people. I've fallen into the 'trap' - not that I'm blaming the internent, I'm the one who decided to use it!!

Where to from here? Stop writing on my blog? Stop using facebook? Remove my profile from the sites I've signed up to? I don't necessarily think I need to do that at this point, but perhaps limit my use of them, and focus on trying to gain better 'relational' understanding of others, outside of the internet.

Book Doubles

We've been going through stuff to work out what we can cull before we move again. Can't believe how much we accumulate!!

I don't think I've really had a good look through all the books on my shelf since a few years and a few moves ago (at least before the girls were born), and I'm embarrassed to say that when I reorganised them this week I discovered that I have two copies of 'Know and Tell the Gospel' and 'The Pursuit of Holiness'. Not sure how that happened. If anyone would like a copy of either one, let me know.

Keeping the Doc in Business

The pounding headache. There's nothing quite like it. Better not be sinus again!! Little Lucy's still sick too, so back to the Dr we go - someone's got to keep him in business.

Meant to start uni this week. Did about an hour yesterday but had to finalise the magazine too. I already feel like I'm behind and the semester's only just begun. Sigh.

Speaking of doctors, was hoping Doc Martin would be on last night but it wasn't. Looking forward to the next episode.

Yay!

Danced again tonight (Ceroc), I love it, especially when you get to dance with a guy who knows what he's doing and leads confidently it's so much fun. One of the guys I got to dance with is a brilliant dancer, a few times I asked, 'is that what you wanted me to do?' kind of laughing, as I wasn't sure I was following him, he said, 'yep, you're doing great'. i said I'm not very good at following and he said he thought I was following really well, better than some of the girls who've been dancing for years - I doubt that, but he was very encouraging. I really enjoyed dancing with him. I had no idea what I was doing, but I didn't need to cause he just made it happen.

Later he said that the key to dancing is using your body to communicate. Tonight it just seemed to click, as one guy said it would by about week three. I seemed to (on the whole) get the knack of following... finally!

Another guy in the beginner's class kept pulling me up when I wasn't following his lead. When I finally got it towards the end, he looked incredibly surprised and said 'yay, that was great'. I felt kind of chuffed.

Something I haven't got the knack of is asking a guy to dance. You're supposed to be able to ask anyone to dance during the 'freestyle' segment, but I haven't been game to do that as yet, other than with one guy who danced with me last week and goes to my cousin's church, and whose name I actually remember.

Thanks Ceroc Australia for three fun nights so far, and many more to come I hope!

Criticism

It's easy to criticize. It's easy to judge. It's easy to notice flaws and things that need to be fixed.

It's usually easier for people to complain that to say they appreciate something.

Thanks to the lovely lady who emailed me this morning about the last edition of the magazine. I'll probably email back at some point when I've vented my anger and thought through an appropriate response. Jesus is the reason we write the magazine!!

Can't remember how many positive comments it takes to negate one negative comment, but I know that I want to try and be affirming of others and what God is doing through them. I'm not saying we shouldn't be trying to improve, but maybe some people could learn to be a little less critical.

One Big Family

Last night I visited a friend's church. She and her husband were leaders at the church I grew up in about 16 years ago. They're still a great couple, and a huge encouragement, even though until recently I hadn't seen or touched based with her in a long time!

I really enjoyed being part of their church family for the night, after all we are one big family under Jesus. Spoke to lots of friendly people and had some good conversations, even after telling some of them a bit of my story. That's the way we should be as the body of Christ. The sermon was on just that, how we should be serving one another, and the importance of growing together.

Family. I love my family - they've been such a huge support to me, especially the last few years. Many times I've phoned them in tears to ask them to pray, and they've been there. Even a number of my Aunties have been a great support. Saturday night my brother and sister-in-law took me to one of those yummy chocolate places for the best hot chocolate I've ever had (american marshmallow white hot chocolate), and my amazing parents looked after the girls while we went. Yep, God's been very good to me, giving me the best family. Including Sarah and Lucy of course!!

I'd love to live closer to my friend's church, it seemed like a great family. Not that the church I'm going to isn't, but there aren't many people my age or stage of life. It was also good to meet another friend I'd never met face-to-face, and his brother.

Pass

I've never been so happy to hear the word 'pass'. It's not a great result, but I passed. Both subjects. Phew. After a big semester - my first with two girls by distance, while I had sinus surgery and kept doing the magazine - I'm happy with a pass. Shouldn't expect too much. Mum says things can only go up from here, I hope she's right and I think she probably is. Either way, God's got my future in His hands.

Time for a change

I checked out the new blogger templates available yesterday and decided it was time for a change. Got the girls to help me a bit, which when we got to deciding background colour Sarah of course wanted pink. I asked what other colour she liked as I didn't really want to make it pink, so we went with purple. Such an important decision!

Amazed

'They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened.' Mark 6:51b-52

This verse is referring to the disciples after Jesus walked on the water to calm the wind and the waves. I've never noticed the end of verse 52 before - even the disciples hearts were hardened. How often do we have a lack of faith as to what God can do?

As I re-read the feeding of the five thousand, I thought about giving, and how easy it is to analyse everything before giving. I'm not suggesting we shouldn't be wise in using the money and things God's entrusted to us, but that if God prompts us to give, we should give, and trust that He can do more than we can imagine with what is given. Not for our purposes, for His glory.

The disciples found five loaves and two fish among the crowd, not enough to feed the entire crowd, but when this small amount of food was brought to Jesus, He gave thanks to God then broke the loaves and EVERYONE had their fill.

I wonder what amazing things God could do if we continually brought everything we had to Him and thanked Him for it, and allowed Him to use it for His glory, to practically love others and to point them to Him.

Amazed. Our God is awesome!

More on Fasting

I'm still struggling to find helpful (and Biblical) info about fasting. I have found a Guide to Fasting put together by Campus Crusade for Christ.

'According to Scripture, personal experience and observation, I am convinced that when God's people fast with a proper Biblical motive-seeking God's face not His hand-with a broken, repentant, and contrite spirit, God will hear from heaven and heal our lives, our churches, our communities, our nation and world. Fasting and prayer can bring about revival - a change in the direction of our nation, the nations of earth and the fulfillment of the Great Commission.'

Definitely the motive that is highlighted seems to be in line with the brief passages about fasting in the gospels: that the purpose is to glorify God and to seek His face, not to make people think we're super spiritual or to bend God's arm so He'll give us what we want.

A slight concern I have with what's written is that it could be interpreted as: if we don't fast, God won't hear from heaven and heal our lives, and He can't bring about revival unless we fast. I'm not convinced that's Biblical?

Anyway, lots of things I'm still thinking through. Like, does it have to be a fast from food, or could it be anything that would be a sacrifice for us and something that would prompt us to pray when we desire that thing? I'm guessing it's the latter.

Your thoughts?

Have you ever fasted?

In Bible Study this week we were looking at Psalm 35, and discussing injustice and persecution. The person leading the study suggested we consider fasting and asking God to show us how He would have us respond to these two issues in particular.

It got me thinking more about fasting. Don't know that I've ever heard a sermon on fasting? Maybe I've heard it referred to briefly but that's all. One of the ladies at playgroup said she and her husband fasted when they wanted to pray about his job situation.

Has anyone heard any good sermons, or read anything helpful about fasting? Read the brief passage in Matthew, but it doesn't seem to talk about the purpose or practicalities of it.