First, First, First

The battle within continues, fighting for joy and peace throughout the challenges of each day. Then God reminds me to cling to Him - to come to Him and let go. He wants to be first in my heart.

'When we start to love [God's] gifts more than we love Him, we lose our contentment and joy.'

'Open your hands and let Him have what you’re holding.'

Taken from Charles Stanley's Holding Too Tightly sermon outline based on the story of the rich young ruler in Luke 12.

Exploding relationships

I'm having one of those moments when I feel like my head's going to explode with so many questions and things to think about. Yesterday I came across this interesting video related to the question, should girls pursue guys? My head says of course not! In an ideal world the guy should pursue the girl - he should be the leader, that's the way God designed it.

But my heart gets the better of me more often than not. In the video, it's suggested that guy/girl relationships should follow God's example - He chose His bride (us - the church) first, and He came after us. I think I agree that this should be the model for guy/girl relationships, but it also raises some questions.

I was chatting with a bunch of ladies about the issue this morning and one recommended the book 'Passion and Purity' by Elisabeth Elliot. Earlier today I had planned to head over to Koorong to buy the book I'd read about on the website, thought it'd be an interesting read. But after speaking to these ladies thought I wouldn't rush straight out just yet. Maybe I'll get Passion and Purity instead?

Found this interesting interview with Elisabeth Elliot about a response from a 17 year old boy to her book. He wrote, 'Elisabeth was extremely careful not to reveal her feelings for Jim. If she did, she would become the initiator and deny God her whole self.' I never really thought of it like that. He also wrote, 'Christians need to realize that God does not always want to take something away from us, but He wants to take us away from ourselves and our selfish flesh.'

I guess ultimately the key is our relationship with God - taking everything to Him, committing everything to Him, trusting Him in everything... though this is hard to do in practice!!

The black cloth and the gospel

There are some days where the weight of the black cloth seems so heavy - I find myself thinking and saying things I know I shouldn't think, I find myself trying to live my life independent of God because trusting Him means stepping out into the unknown and that scares me. I'm often so focused on my own needs and hurts that I don't see other people's needs and hurts and support them.

The black cloth. Sin. I heard the analogy last night about jewellers placing diamond rings on black cloths to make them sparkle even more, and look even more beautiful.

The diamond ring. The gospel. I finally realised that the gospel is about more than just Jesus (though He is at the heart of it!) - some other religions also believe in Jesus, but they don't believe the gospel. They don't believe that first we rebelled (and continue to rebel) against God, that Jesus lived a sinless life on earth and then paid the price for our sin by dying on the cross and being raised back to life so that we might enjoy relationship with God and the promise of hope for eternity with Him.

OK, there will be people who don't understand the term 'the gospel' at first (none of us did!), but that's why someone needs to share the message of all that Jesus has done for them, and the hope that He offers.

The black cloth is an important part of the story, but it's only the beginning. The gospel turns the black cloth into something special that can be used to the glory of God.

I read this last night, 'We were ultimately designed to find true joy, identity and purpose in God, but man sinned (Gen 3), which changed everything!' It hurt to read these words, because I realised how often I don't find my joy, identity and purpose in God. I seek after 'created' things, rather than the Creator Himself. When God is just waiting for me to come to Him so He can offer me true joy, identity and purpose.

Be strong and take heart

I had to laugh out loud at God's unbelievably impeccable timing giving us the exact word of encouragement we need at the precise moment we need it. When everything in me is screaming, 'But, Lord I can't do it, I just CAN'T, I want to obey You, but it's too hard', He steps in and says, 'Be strong and take heart'.

I've been thinking about which Bible character I'd like to put myself in the skin of. Initially I was thinking about the well-known characters that we see God doing great things through (David, Moses, Esther), but then I thought about the bleeding woman. I think I'd like to get in her skin - to have enough faith in Jesus, to reach out in desperation and touch his cloak, to be healed, and to be able to tell others of Jesus' amazing power to heal. I love that in the account of this story in Matthew, Jesus tells the bleeding woman to 'take heart', that her faith has healed her.

abandon

Hiding His Word in our hearts

I've been thinking about something I read the other day by Charles Swindoll about 'discovering your life message'. I kind of didn't like it, as it made me a bit uncomfortable - I felt like there's a lot more honing yet to be done in my life and I think I'd rather not be honed any more. He suggests that God has a unique message for each of us that no one else can share, and that the key to discovering this is spending time alone with God.

Charles writes, 'Nothing can so train you for life like the time you spend alone with Jesus.'

Psalm 119 v10-11 says, 'I seek You will all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands. I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You.' I remember hearing an awesome kids talk on v11 a long time ago where Peggy told us of the importance of reading God's Word and hiding His Word in our hearts.

As I struggle with one of the life messages God seems to be building in me, and wonder how on earth I'm going to make it through, God reminds me that His grace is sufficient for me.

Yesterday morning I met a friend who I'm just starting to get to know, and she was talking about God giving us His grace for today, sufficient for our needs TODAY, not tomorrow, today. Tomorrow He will provide grace for that day too, but right now He gives His grace for the situation I am in right now. His grace is sufficient.

tic-toc tic-toc tic-toc

Trying to get to sleep, listening to my stupid clock. So many thoughts buzzing through my mind. The middle of the night is not a good time to want to debrief and talk about deep stuff, especially when your cat's the only one you can chat to, and even he's sleeping.

Why 'the gospel' and not Jesus?

One of my pet peeves has been (and still is) references to 'the gospel' instead of Jesus. Maybe it's time for me to get over this? Maybe it shouldn't make me agitated, maybe it's a good thing?

I'm assuming the majority of the time when people say 'the gospel' the intention is that this incorporates Jesus' life, death and resurrection. But why do we use the term 'the gospel' instead of talking about Jesus?

Sounds kind of silly, but I wonder whether we can end up worshiping 'the gospel' instead of Jesus? I guess it depends on our definition of the gospel. But it's a bit like the Bible, it's an essential part of our knowing Jesus, but we don't worship the Bible, we worship Jesus.

Anyhow, if references to the gospel point people to Jesus then I'm all for them. As long as it ends up being about Jesus. Maybe I'm just confusing myself?!

If you could put yourself into the skin of any Bible character, which one would it be?

Charles Swindoll poses this question in his book, Moses - A Man of Selfless Devotion. My blog hasn't been a very interactive one in the past (understatement - in fact you could count the number of comments on one hand...) but thought I'd give it another shot.

If you could put yourself into the skin of any Bible character, which one would it be? And why?

I'm still thinking about my response, will probably post it later.

Waiting for the clouds to clear

I can only imagine what it'd be like to trek up a mountain for days and arrive at the top surrounded by cloud. Standing at the top of the mountain, waiting for the clouds to clear, hoping they will. Feeling exhausted but at the same time filled with anticipation and delight about the view soon to appear.

Image found at http://www.ipc.ac.nz/en/news/0811_01.php

Learning to Trust

I'm meant to be studying for my maths exam - have done some reading this morning but very distracted!! So took another look at Psalm 9.

'Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.' v10

I look to God's character and to countless stories of His faithfulness in the lives of others, and in my own life, and see a God who can be trusted. Yet for some reason I so often don't trust Him. I want to trust Him, but trusting Him means taking a risk, it means following Him into the unknown, though it's isn't the unknown for Him. He reaches out His hand, 'Trust me, I will never forsake you, TRUST me!'

Do not worry

Heard the passage about not worrying at the end of last night's sermon, made me a bit emotional. Thought I'd look it up this morning just as a reminder of God's promises and the importance of 'seeking first His Kingdom'. Read it in the Message - a pretty cool version of the passage!


Matthew 6:25-34 (The Message)

25-26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Sometimes I wish I was a snail

Sometimes I wish I was a snail, then I could hide in my shell.

I really dislike this ad

Another great song

I'm loving music more than ever at the moment - God's definitely using it to remind me how awesome He is, and to remind me of His faithfulness and love, to help me hang in there and cling tightly to Him.

Bring the Rain by MercyMe

Paul's Prayer

I'd love to have been part of the church of Ephesus when they received Paul's letter. So encouraging.

6I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3

That dreaded phone call

Why is that sometimes when I need to make a phone call, I just can't do it? Sheridan Voysey was keen for us to do a review of his latest book Open House 3 in the next edition of the magazine. It was interesting timing, because they'd written to us once before about the last volume and we didn't have space, but this time I was actually thinking of contacting him the same day he emailed, but I hadn't yet worked up the courage. After all, he speaks on the radio, I'm just Alison, a Mum and whatever else I am.

Anyhow, I was meant to call him yesterday or sometime this week and kept putting it off - I was nervous because I've never really officially interviewed anyone for the magazine, and he's on the radio. Having done a lot of the stuff I was aiming to do today earlier this afternoon I figured I should just bite the bullet and call him. He was very down-to-earth and easy to talk to. Phew. So my week that was looking rather chaotic, hasn't been as chaotic after all. Hooray! And now it's time for a cup of coffee.

Daring to believe

On my way to pick up Lucy from school - got a call that she wasn't well, but praising God I'd pretty much finished my assessment when they phoned - and heard this song again.

I love music. God so often uses songs to encourage me, and challenge me, and to point me to Him and remind me how awesome He is.

Learning, as I struggle and keep failing, to just press on and fight the good fight as God gives me His strength.

Before the Morning - Josh Wilson

'Would you dare to believe
that you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight'

Themes

I love it how at times God seems to teach us in 'themes'... you can trace His hand as His Spirit is at work in the lives of people around us and in our own life.

Just read this Daily Devotional, reminding me to keep trusting God and pursuing Him. It's based on Psalm 9 - which God really used to encourage me on Sunday morning through a great sermon about suffering.

A HOT Relationship

A friend shared with me a phrase he came up with a few years ago - 'For a HOT relationship you need Honesty, Openness and Trust'. He also suggested adding 'Courage, endurance and a thick skin' now that he's been married for a few years. I like it. He's a top bloke, and she's a top 'gal. I'm pretty sure they have a HOT relationship.

Leaning Hard

What do you when you can't sleep in the middle of the night? Eat a bread roll with butter and read for a bit.

More in Swindoll's book about Moses. He quotes one of my favourite verses Proverbs 3:5-6 and writes this:

'The before part, in verse 5, urges us to 'trust in the Lord'. That suggests relying on Him, letting Him take the lead, and yielding the steering wheel of our lives. The verse also notes that we are to do this with all of our hearts. This is not something done half-heartedly, reluctantly, or with reservations. It's an all-out, go-for-broke proposition.

At that point, however, Solomon adds a warning: 'Be careful not to lean on your own understanding.' In other words, don't rely on crutches of your own making. Don't attempt to limp along on your own strength. Instead lean hard. And while leaning, fully 'acknowledge Him'. That work 'acknowledge' includes the meaning 'to recognise'. In all your ways recognise Him.

Now comes the after part. His part. 'He will make your paths straight.'

My stronghold

How could I have got it so wrong?!

'I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart. I will tell of your wonders. The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.' Psalm 9

Fresh Direction

'Dpn't keep on yanking on those loose strings of your life, thinking your own plan is best. Bring the whole tangled knot to Him. Bring Him your failures, your false starts, and your well-intenioned crusades that landed you on the backside of a lonely desert. Let Him sort through the details of your life, and give you fresh direction.

No one unties knots like the Lord.'

'Lord, I am willing,
I am willing to receive what You give,
I am willing to lack what You withhold,
I am willing to relinquish what You take,
I am willing to suffer what You require.'

Moses - A Man of Selfless Dedication by Charles R Swindoll (p129)

Failure - an outstanding instructor

Reading about Moses in a Chuck Swindwoll book. I really love his writing.

He quotes Hudson Taylor (p17): 'It doesn't matter how great the pressure is; what really matters is where the pressure lies. Whether it comes between you and God or presses you nearer His heart.'

Later on he writes (p107), 'We simply cannot stand the thought of failure. Yet who ever said you and I have to succeed at everything we attempt? That's an artificial standard set up by men, not by God. As we've already seen, failure, though a painful pedagogue, can be an outstanding instructor.'

What a painful instructor failure can be at times!!

TomTom

I scored Dad's old iphone recently, complete with various apps he used, including the 'TomTom' GPS thingy.

Overall it's been excellent - had to visit an older friend who's like my grandma in hospital today, so used the TomTom to navigate there, then discovered she had been moved (thanks to the hospital for not telling us!!!). So had to use it again to get to Longueville - only thing I know about Longueville is that we had a work team building day at the Bowling Club there a few years ago. Thankfully the TomTom was able to guide me there.

The only thing that is rather off-putting is when it needs to recalculate the route. Every now and again it would tell me to turn back even though I thought I'd followed the directions I'd been given. Wondering whether it's when you go too quickly and it needs time to catch up or something (though not sure how you slow down on main roads without getting run up the back of), I can't figure it out, it was rather confusing, especially when it directed through some back streets near our place - I ended up going in circles for a bit. Had no idea where I was so just laughed and kept trusting it would eventually help me get home, otherwise would have resorted to the good old street directory.

Speaking of confusion, I also felt a bit upset when I arrived to visit my friend and she asked me who I was, whether I was the physiotherapist or something. When I told her it was me it was like the light-bulb went on, but she's definitely losing it a bit. Getting old is so sad!

And now I have half a day to get all the work I was hoping to start a few hours ago done...