This weekend's been an exhausting one, but a good one. Mum's amazing - she's been looking after the girls most of this weekend so I could get to the Revive conference myself and be encouraged and challenged, and so I could be part of the music team tonight at Church. Even after working full-time, she's still always wanting to help in whatever way she can. God's been so good to me giving me Mum and Dad. They're such a huge support.
I was a bit worried about going to the conference and bumping into people who haven't seen me in a while and maybe aren't aware of what's happening. I was worried that it'd upset me. But those I did bump into were just loving, they were God's hands and feet - Neil Dawson gave me a hug and encouraged me, Ros (who was one of Mum's bridesmaids) encouraged me and we just chatted about some of the struggles we've faced recently in life, another lady who I didn't even know came and prayed with me and put her arms around me as did Melissa. All these people, plus others, helped me to feel God's loving arms around me saying, "Alison, I am with You".
I think yesterday was a chance to "breathe", and I really needed to take a good, long breath. I had the opportunity to go to two different workshops in the afternoon, and one was on "A Contemplative Life". Through it, God reminded me of His promise to never leave me, and that He will continue to shape my life and use me, if I allow Him to.
But after enjoying drawing breath during the day, the evening was a big kick up the butt. Mike Frost spoke on the Holy Spirit sending us out, that if we're not being sent, we aren't allowing the Spirit to lead and guide us. Ouch. I was reminded how easy is to focus on myself, to want God to encourage and inspire me, while leaving out the next very important step of then being propelled forward to share His love with others. (Saying that, healing is important at certain times in our lives, too.) But God hasn't given us hope to just keep us as individuals, or even as a bunch of Christians, going. He hasn't given us hope so we can just keep it to ourselves, He wants us to share His hope with others... to be real with each other (not just other Christians)... to walk through the tough stuff together.
God, change me. Give me Your heart and Your eyes. Help me to take my eyes off myself and my pain, and help me to truly love others in the toughness of life so that each and every person can have the opportunity to respond to your offer of hope and new life. Thank You Lord for Your Spirit, help me to surrender to You completely so that You can use me in my weakness, and show others Your incredible Strength.
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