I've realised that one of my coping mechanisms when things are tough is not so good. I never planned it to be one of my coping mechanisms, it became one by default.
I have no idea how many people read my blog, but perhaps after this post there'll be less people who'll read it... take that as my warning.
Here's the scenario. My head's throbbing, I haven't been getting much sleep for what seems like forever, both girls are having tantrums and I just feel like there's nothing left in me to go on. So I say something like, "This is just hell. Life is just such hell. Why is it so hard?!!!!" Yeah, if you're reading this, you'll be horrified. How can a mother say this in front of her children! And how can she go on to write it on her blog! I agree!!! Though my humanness sometimes gets the better of me...
I need to find a better way of dealing with these tough situations as there will no doubt be more to come! I tend to be very verbal when I'm stressed, and talk through what's happening (as much as I can anyway...) with the girls.
At the Revive conference last week I was really challenged about this. In one workshop we were encouraged to come to God as David does in the Psalms and ask Him our "whys". I realised I needed to find something helpful to say in front of the girls that would also help me to cope. So I was thinking maybe I could print out a Psalm and stick it on the wall and say that, instead of what I've said previously.
Louise, a lady who I'd never met before, who came and prayed with me on Saturday night, mentioned a Psalm that she thought might be good about my couch being drenched with tears. I didn't realise there was a Psalm that talked about that. It's Psalm 6. So here's what I'm sticking on my wall.
Psalm 6:3-6, 8-9
My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.
I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.
Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the LORD has heard my weeping.
The LORD has heard my cry for mercy;
the LORD accepts my prayer.
Psalm 7:1a
O LORD my God, I take refuge in you
Hopefully this will be a helpful coping mechanism!
2 comments:
I think during times of endless angst - we need to be able to bring God our why's - in this scenario I think being able to ask the question is more important than knowing the answer. Sometimes its our soul rather than our head asking 'Why?'
Thanks, Julian. Yeah I agree. I think that's one of the reasons I love the Psalms so much - so many whys brought to God. But then, still remembering that God is faithful and we can trust Him even when we don't understand.
I'm still not sure about asking "why" in front of the girls at this stage as they're very little, but maybe as you say it's still important to allow my soul to ask the question. "My soul is in anguish" - I guess David understood that part well too.
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