Exhausted

I'm utterly exhausted. I don't know that I've ever felt this exhausted, apart from after giving birth to the girls. But this is more emotional exhaustion than physical.

Today we had a training session for Kids Hope which was great, but more draining than I realised at the time. Some of the stories were a bit close to home. I was hoping to go to a coffee night for women from our church tonight, but I just feel too exhausted, and the girls have been having troubles going to bed, I think they sense my tension....

After being at the training all day, I came home and my grandparents and my brother (who are amazing and so supportive) were looking after the girls and I just felt like I needed to be alone, but of course I didn't have the guts to say it. I forgot how drained I get if I don't have time alone, especially after a fairly emotionally charged day.

I was wandering around the house not long ago hanging the washing, cleaning up after dinner, you know all the usual tasks, feeling cranky, agitated and exhausted, and said to Lucy, "You know, Lucy, God says He's my Refuge, but I sure don't lean on Him like I should. Why is that?" It's at times like this I'm so thankful to God for all my great friends and family who are praying for the girls and I, so that eventually I will give in to my stubbornness and turn to God.

I feel like I'm at my limit. I thought that verse in Corinthians (10:13) promised that God wouldn't let us be tested beyond what we can bear, but I've realised it says tempted in the NIV. In a sense they're similar words, but in another sense they're not. Either way, God does promise to give us rest.

I really need to come to Jesus, and let Him give me rest, just as God promises in Matthew, and that beautiful Chris Rice song (Come to Jesus) reminds me.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11: 28

Lord, I pray that when I feel exhausted and drained, weary and burdened, I would come to You so that you can give me rest as You promise You will... That my soul would find rest in You alone. Thank You Lord, that You give me rest.