Enjoyable Day

I enjoyed today. In the morning I had breakfast with lots of the women from our Church. It was great to get to know people a bit more and to just chat about life.

Then this afternoon Mum and I took the girls to the beach. Lucy absolutely loved it - it was so exciting watching her eyes light up and hearing her squeal as the waves came crashing towards her. Sarah had a ball too. They didn't want to leave!

Tonight our door-bell rang and I suddenly realised it's Halloween. Oh dear. I was struggling to come up with something... watermelon? no. marshmallows? no. a packet of biscuits? no. small packets of wiggles biscuits? they'll have to do. I only had four packets and fortunately there were only four kids. We had a bit of a chat cause they'd seen me at their primary school doing Kids Hope. One boy told me about the frogs in his pond at home. Kids are so open, I love it... so free to just chat, with so few inhibitions. We seem to lose that as we get older!

I hope there aren't anymore trick-or-treaters. Might have to turn the lights off and pretend we're not home. Otherwise, I'll have to give them an ice-block or a can of baked beans. Poor kids.

The Waiting Season

So I decided last week that I'm in a waiting season. I thought about blogging about this earlier, but decided not to. I think I'm scared that if I actually acknowledge it publicly, it will somehow make the waiting season even longer, which is ridiculous!! I just don't want to admit it to myself!

In a lot of my devotionals recently the theme has been about waiting for God, and using the time of waiting to get to know Him more, to spend more time in His Word, and to let Him shape me.

I just looked at Elisabeth Elliott's devotion for today, which of course is titled, "Waiting". God's not letting me avoid this one. He's making sure I get the message LOUD AND CLEAR!

I can't seem to find the archives for Elisabeth's devotions, so I'm copying the bits that particularly spoke to me as I read her thoughts on waiting:

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" (Psalm 27:14, NIV).

Waiting requires patience--a willingness calmly to accept what we have or have not, where we are or where we wish we were, whomever we live or work with.

To want what we don't have is impatience, for one thing, and it is to mistrust God. Is He not in complete control of all circumstances, events, and conditions? If some are beyond His control, He is not God.

Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands. "Peace I leave with you; I do not give to you as the world gives" (John 14:27, NEB). What sort of peace has He to give us? A peace which was constant in the midst of ceaseless work (with few visible results), frequent interruptions, impatient demands, few physical comforts; a peace which was not destroyed by the arguments, the faithlessness, and hatred of the people. Jesus had perfect confidence in His Father, whose will He had come to accomplish. Nothing touched Him without His Father's permission. Nothing touches me without my Father's permission. Can I not then wait patiently? He will show the way.

His message to me every day
Is wait, be still, trust, and obey.

Wait patiently for the Lord. He will turn to you and hear your cry. It is amazing how clear things become when we are still before Him, not complaining, not insisting on quick answers, only seeking to hear His word in the stillness, and to see things in His light.

God is in no rush

So I've decided I'm a very poor listener. What goes in one ear is too quick to go out the other.

Last night I read over some quotes I'd highlighted in one of Joshua Harris' books a few weeks back, "God is interested in the journey, not just the destination... God is in no rush. he wants to use this process, and all the questions and uncertainties it involves, to refine us, sanctify us, and increase our faith."

I still have that urge to run through the fire! It's too uncomfortable, and uncertain! But as Joshua writes, God wants to use this process to increase my faith and trust in Him, to refine me. I know I shouldn't say this, but I think I'm sick of being refined!!

So to all my friends who read this, I'd love you to remind me to be patient and wait for God's timing, to remind me that He is in no rush, and that His plan is best.

Yes, God is full of surprises

Yes, our God is full of surprises! Today I received my letter of offer to study primary teaching by distance next year. The surprise was that I was offered a Commonwealth Supported Place, which means the fees I pay will be significantly lower than I'd initially expected.

I'd been thinking and praying about next year and what I should do - I was having doubts about studying again and was a bit concerned about the financial side. But this seemed a very timely confirmation to continue down that path. Yippee!! I'm excited. A bit nervous too, but overall looking forward to it.

It's also been a great reminder that God does guide and direct our paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 Why do I so often get anxious instead of trusting Him?! Why do I try to lean on my own understanding?

As the girls and I have been reading their toddler Bible, I've been reminded of the unusual ways that God works. He is full of surprises! I'm sure the Israelites weren't expecting God to part the water so they could cross the Red Sea and escape from the Egyptians! It's great reading Bible stories with kids and seeing these stories in a new light - with wonder and awe!

Full of surprises?

My Grandma always used to tell me that God is full of surprises. This afternoon as I was driving I got a nice surprise. I had just been thinking through some of the tough stuff in life and this song came on the radio asking almost the exact questions I was thinking through, and then going on to say, from the perspective of God, "I'm with You". I didn't get to hear who it was by or what it was called unfortunately, but it was a nice 'surprise' to be reminded again of God's promise to be with me. You'd think I'd remember that by now!!

In terms of the future, I don't know what God's got planned, but I think tonight He's been wanting me to remember to trust Him. This is when I really started thinking back to what Grandma used to say about God being full of surprises.

In my Chuck Swindoll devotion I was reminded that, "God is not known for doing standard things. He is engaged in doing very distinct things. When a person does something, it has the man or woman look about it. It drips with the humanity. You can follow the logic of it and see the meaning behind it... God doesn't build skyscrapers, men build skyscrapers. And they all have the touch of genius, human genius. But you cannot find a man who can make a star. And when God steps in, His working is like the difference between a skyscraper and a star".

Then in God Calling, "Bow as a child bows, in anticipation of a glad surprise being prepared for it by one who loves it. Bow in such a way, just waiting to hear the loving word to raise your head, and see the glory and joy and wonder of your surprise."

God is full of surprises? He does things differently to us. His ways are beyond our comprehension, but we know that He is a faithful God who provides for our needs, so we can trust Him!

Time to shuffle

Last night I got my act together and finally figured out my iPod shuffle (which Mum gave me for Christmas last year... yeah, I've been slack). I'm also a bit behind the times!

I've realised I should be doing some sort of exercise, and seeing as I'm not really into sport, was struggling to come up with something. I decided going for a walk and chatting with a friend as we walk would be great, though it's difficult to coordinate times on a regular basis. So last night I decided that listening to music while I walk could be a good alternative... and I'd finally get to use the iPod shuffle!

Later on I decided I should phone one of my friends to see if she'd like to go for a walk. She thought it sounded therapeutic too, and even though she's busy decided to make time for it. It was really refreshing. We had a good chat about life, enjoyed the sunshine and did some exercise! Might try and do it more often together, and when she can't make it, my iPod shuffle will be waiting for me.

Thanksgiving - A Spiritual Exercise

The other day Dad was very honest with me and told me he doesn't think my focus is where it should be - on God and the hope I have in Him. Ouch! I tried to explain it away...

But my Heavenly Father is really the one who's been trying to tell me this. He's been wanting me to see that He has given me everything I need, and He will always provide for my needs.

I was reading Elizabeth Elliott's devotion for today, and this it what she shared:

Thanksgiving is a spiritual exercise, necessary to the building of a healthy soul. It takes us out of the stuffiness of ourselves into the fresh breeze and sunlight of the will of God.

Thankless children we all are, more or less, comprehending but dimly the truth of God's fathomless love for us. We do not know Him as a gracious Giver, we do not understand His most precious gifts, or the depth of His love, the wisdom with which He has planned our lives, the price He pays to bring us to glory and fulfillment.

The Father's Song

I've been listening to a song by Matt Redman that I'm guessing is based on that great verse in Zephaniah 3:17:

"The LORD your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."


Today's been a really tough day, lots of tears... for no particular reason, but found comfort hearing this song, and that brought on lots of tears. Yes, God is with me!! How often I forget though, so how often I need to be reminded!

Here are the words to "The Father's Song":

I have heard so many songs
Listened to a thousand tongues
But there is one
That sounds above them all

The Father's song
The Father's love
You sung it over me
and for eternity, it's written on my heart

Heaven's perfect melody
The Creator's symphony
You are singing over me
The Father's song
Heaven's perfect mystery
The king of love has sent for me
And now you're singing over me
The Father's song

Not the Architect

"I know better than you what you need. Trust Me absolutely...

Do not try to plan. I have planned. You are the builder, not the Architect."

My mentor shared this with me on Thursday, from God Calling by A J Russell, Jan 29.

More on the Seasons of Life

I've been thinking more about the seasons of life. It'd be great if one season moved straight on to the next, like in the movie 500 Days of Summer where, after his 500 days of "Summer" (the girl he falls in love with), Tom meets another girl, Autumn.

I guess as one season ends, a new season does begin, but the new season isn't always better than the season before. But if we are willing, I think each season can help prepare us for the next season. We can use it as an opportunity to grow, to learn to trust God more, and to understand more about His character and how He would have us live in response to that. Sometimes it's painful growth, but nevertheless, growth. Growth that will enable our roots to go down deep.

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." Colossians 2:6-7

The Band-aid Solution

Recently Sarah came up to me when I was crying and said, "Mummy, are you upset? It's OK. I will help you. I'll get you a band-aid. That will help you get better." Then she headed off to my room where I keep the band-aids (I was surprised she knew where they were!) and said, "Come on Mummy, let's get a band-aid for you." She's beautiful. If only a band-aid was the solution!

Living an Examined Life

This morning my mentor encouraged me to continually ask God to search my heart, and show me the things I need to change that don't please Him, as David writes in Psalm 139:23-24.

I've just been reading these two verses again and realised the second part of v23 says, "Test me and know my anxious thoughts"... I missed that bit before, no idea how!! Yes, as the beginning of Psalm 139 says, God has searched me and He knows me, intimately, better than I know myself!!

The NIV cheat notes on these two verses say, "Examine me, see the integrity of my devotion and keep me true". What a great prayer.

Seasons

Today finally feels like spring again -yippee! I went to Koorong and decided it was time to invest in a new devotional - I've been looking at various devotionals online but I still like an old fashioned hard-copy one too! Every few years I bring out one by Charles Swindoll called "Wisdom for the Way" which I was given for my 21st birthday, and I've been using this again the past few months. I still love it but it's time for something new.

So I found another one by Charles Swindoll, though that wasn't my intention!, called "Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life". The title appealed to me, as did the intro written by Billy Graham. They're slightly longer devotionals that he's designed to be done in sets of three each week, with practical reflective questions at the end of each set. I like that idea - sounds quite manageable.

Something that really struck me when I was listening to one of his sermons on the web last week was one word he highlighted from Isaiah 43:1-4. It was the word WALK. God said, "When you WALK through the fire you will not be burned..." As Charles highlighted, God didn't say when you RUN, which would make a lot more sense to us.

What person in their right mind would want to walk through the fire? If you have to go through the fire, wouldn't you run? If you walk, you're far more likely to be burned!

The more I've been thinking about it since then, and as I began reading this new devotional, the more I've felt God's desperately wanting me to hear this message: "Take your time, Alison. I'm here with You, I'm walking with You. Let's walk together, and enjoy each step of the journey. It's not going to be easy, but I'm with You and leading You each step of the way. Trust me."

I'm not a person who's good at this though. What Charles said really resonated with me because everything in me wants to run - I just want to make it the other side. I don't like being in the fire!! But God is working out His plan, and He's teaching me to trust Him and find refuge Him, to rest in the shadow of our Almighty God. As we're told in 1 Peter 1:7, our faith is refined by fire.

My friend Anne was even talking to me about this idea last night and suggesting that maybe instead of seeing one season as over and having to wait for the next season, we can recognise that this "in between" bit can be something we can learn to appreciate and enjoy. Not in a fake way, ignoring the pain, otherwise we can't allow God to heal us, but in a real way, where we walk with God through the deep valley... where we can be reminded afresh in a deep way what it means that God is with us.

In the intro to the book he writes, "Each of the four seasons offers fresh and vital insights for those who take the time to look and to think... The Master is neither mute nor careless as He alters our times and changes our seasons. How wrong to trudge blindly and routinely through a lifetime of changing seasons without discovering answers to the new mysteries and learning to sing the new melodies! Seasons are designed to deepen us, to instruct us in the wisdom and ways of our God. To help us grow strong... like a tree planted by the rivers of water." p15

Embarrassing Moment

We had communion at Church tonight and we were short two of the little cups of juice. Of course, I had to be the last person in the church to be served apart from the communion "stewards", and the Pastor. The guy who was serving our aisle walked past my friend Anne and I with two cups on his tray, which puzzled us a bit, but I then realised they were the only two cups left. He came back and offered them to us and I said not to worry you have them, as did Anne, but she then took one, then offered it to me, but I said it was OK. Another girl in our row tried to give hers to Anne. Then the poor guy came back again and offered the cup to me again and I said it's alright you have it, so he took it back with him. Then our Pastor said, "Alison, you should have taken it" (in a nice way though), as there was then only one cup for the two guys at the front.

I felt so embarrassed. I said sorry about 500 times. Both guys came up to me as they were collecting the empty cups and apologised. I felt so terrible. I should have taken the cup when he offered it to me.

Oh well. It's kinda funny looking back at it. Sounds a bit more like a nightmare. Anne and I ended up sharing our cup. She insisted I have it and had earlier suggested we could share, so I took a swig and gave it to her to finish. I'm glad in our church we usually don't share cups - not very hygienic.

We laughed though because it's just a symbol of Jesus' blood shed for us. There's nothing special about the juice itself. So it wasn't a big deal to not have our own cup. We were still able to remember Jesus' sacrifice for us, and God's amazing love for us.

The Fairies

On Thursday Mum and I took the girls to see "The Fairies". Sarah was so thrilled (as you can see in the picture) when each of the characters from the show appeared on stage - I felt excited just watching her face! It made the tickets worth every dollar we paid for them!

Lucy absolutely loved dancing along - no inhibitions whatsoever! And no problem that one arm's still in a cast. When is it that we start wondering. and worrying about what people will think of us? Oh to be a child again!

Unfortunately I'd forgotten my camera, so had to use my phone to take some pics.

Boundaries & Character Development

Scenario: Lucy doesn't want to go to bed. She wants to lie on the lounge and drink her milk while she watches her music DVD. I try to carry her into her bed (sometimes this works), and as we start walking to her room she screams and insists on staying on the lounge. So I cave and let her stay on the lounge - occasionally I'm strong and just let her scream, but usually I fold because I can't be bothered "fighting" her will. I know longer term this is not a helpful thing to do, but sometimes it's about survival!

I've started reading Boundaries with Kids again - I started after Sarah was born but didn't get very far. Just recently I decided I needed to work on my ability to set appropriate boundaries for the girls (as proven in the scenario above). I'm not very good at doing this - I think it's the heart ruling the head thing, that I feel bad being too firm, and I want her to be happy (not screaming!).

I've been pondering about one of the statements in the book for a few days now (p15):

"When you are a parent, you help create a child's future. The patterns children establish early in life (their character) they will live out later. And character is always formed in relationship. We can't underestimate your role in developing this character."

Apart from the statement being scary (what a huge responsibility!), I'd never really thought about character being linked to patterns established early in children's lives, and something I play a part in developing in the girls. I don't know where I thought character was developed. Maybe I thought it was similar to personality in that it's something you're born with (characteristics?), but saying that we do talk about God developing our character, so it must be something we need to work on.

Thought I'd look at what the dictionary defines character as: "The set of qualities that make somebody or something distinctive, especially somebody's qualities of mind and feeling". This could suggest it's something we're born with? So perhaps it's a bit of both?

If one aspect of being a parent is about helping your children develop their character, which I'm beginning to think it is, then I need to be thinking about the impact of the seemingly little things on their character development. What message am I sending to Lucy when I just let her get her way and lie on the lounge instead of going to bed? Maybe this isn't a significant issue at this age, but the patterns we're getting into now will be harder to break as time goes on.

OK. That's enough pondering for tonight. This is a huge topic and I'm feeling tired.

Life is Messy

Just been watching "Parenthood", or the second half of it anyway. One of the lines was, "Life is messy". So true. It seems the more of life we experience, the more we realise life isn't quite what we hoped it would be, that there are lots of things that disappoint us - in the lives of others close to us, and in our own lives.

But it's great to know that we can, and should, come to God amidst all the messiness. Our problems aren't instantly fixed when we come to Him, but we know that we have a God who is with us no matter what, and a God who offers us His peace amidst the storm... A God who offers us forgiveness through Jesus, and a God who gives us hope.

Making Tabhouli

Before I get to the tabhouli, I need to vent for a minute... My mouse is driving me nuts - it's one of those wireless bluetooth ones or something, but the last day or so it's been losing the connection every now and again for no apparent reason. I just replaced the batteries a few weeks ago so I don't think it's that. Any ideas from the computer whiz's out there?

I enjoyed making some different food yesterday, well different for us. We usually stick to meat and three veg, and if I cook something fancy it's fairly plain stock standard, like apricot chicken or tuna mornay. So I tried making tabhouli and a corn cous-cous salad cause I thought the girls might like it. Lucy did. I enjoyed it yesterday, but wasn't so keen on it tonight. I think I'm still a meat and three veg girl. But I enjoy cooking (though prefer cooking desserts like sticky-date) so it was fun.

It was also interesting asking different people at the shops where I could buy "burghul". Most looked confused and asked me to repeat what I was looking for. Turns out it's the same as cracked wheat, or so I'm told. That's what I ended up using in the tabhouli as I couldn't find burghul anywhere. Most people hadn't heard of it, and quite a few of the Woollies ladies didn't know what tabhouli was. When they found out it was a salad they told me I could just buy it in the deli section. That would have been smart! In hindsight it probably would have been a lot cheaper, and we might have been able to eat it all in one night rather than having a life-time supply. Oh well, next time I'll do that and make sticky-date instead.

Becoming the Mum God wants me to be

So I've decided it's time to take action and do something practical to help the girls (and more so myself!!) to learn to thank God more, and to think about other people and their needs more.

Sometimes we thank God for Panda, our cat, and occasionally I'll ask Sarah what else we can thank God for, and she'll list off lots of people and things that she loves and wants to thank God for. But I have to confess that I definitely don't thank God for the little things as often as I should. So I want to be more intentional about this.

Tomorrow I'm going to ask the girls to think of something special they'd like to thank God for, and someone they think we should pray for, and I'll contribute my own ideas to the list. I'll write them down in a little diary so we can look back at them sometimes. Hopefully this will help me to think beyond my own circumstances!

This will be my first step in becoming the Mum God wants me to be. I've got a looooong way to go!

I will be with You

God's promise to be with me is not dependent on me or my ability to hang in there. It's dependent on Him, and Him alone. Isaiah 43:1-4

I watched an online video of Charles Stanley preaching on "When Others Fail Us". You can access the video here (look under July 2009). He looks at 2 Timothy 4:9-18 where Paul says in v16, "No-one came to me but everyone deserted me." Even the Apostle Paul, who had impacted so many people's lives, felt deserted and alone.

But Paul then goes on to say in v17, "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength".

God is the one who stands by my side, no matter what.

God is the one who gives me His Strength, a supernatural strength, given by His Holy Spirit who lives in me when I accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.

It's God who will be with me... only God who will never desert me.

Do not be anxious

Years ago a good friend gave me a book by Joyce Myer on this very topic - do not be anxious about anything! God knows us intimately, He knows we often get anxious. In Philippians we're told not to be anxious. Joyce emphasises that this is a command - not just something that is good to do, but something God commands us to do.


Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)


Instead of being anxious, the verses tells me IN EVERYTHING, to bring my requests to God. It says to bring them with thanksgiving... as my Dad reminded me this morning I should thank God for the good gifts He has given me... and I should thank Him for who He is, for being my Rock and Refuge, and for His faithfulness.

The next verse is even better... as a result of taking my requests to God and thanking Him, God will give me His peace. This peace will "guard my heart and my mind". It's a peace that is beyond our understanding, a peace that only God can give.

I wouldn't recommend mine

What's that saying about walking a mile in another person's shoes? If you're thinking about doing this, I certainly wouldn't recommend mine!

Today it's been a real challenge to choose to say, "Yet I will rejoice"... but tonight God reminded me yet again that nothing can ever separate me from His love.

Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering,
though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name, when I'm found in the desert place,
though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be Your name.
When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say,
"Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious name"*


*From Matt Redman's song "Blessed be Your Name"

The desires of your heart - part 2

Found Charles Stanley preaching on the Christian Channel tonight. He was preaching about temptation and suggested temptation is anything that negatively impacts my relationship with God. What a good description.

For me, two big issues are trusting God (especially in relation to the future) and being patient - there are lots of things that tempt me to stop trusting Him and to be impatient. Something else Charles mentioned is that sometimes we can be tempted to desire something that God desires for us in our timing instead of His - the problem may be that we want it now, but God wants it later. It was an excellent sermon.

After hearing him preach, thought I'd take a look at the In Touch website, and came across his sermon notes on Psalm 37 about God giving us the desires of our hearts. Thought this was interesting after my post earlier today. I particularly struggle with D and E of the principles that he suggests will lead to obtaining our heart's desires - rest in Him, and wait patiently for God. Not that I disagree, I just find these two things very hard to do!!

He also stresses the importance of asking God to make my desires conform to His will, which I agree Psalm 37:4 is talking about. As I delight in God (not anything or anyone else), He will transform my desires so that they are in line with His.

As Charles emphasised at the end of his message tonight, we need to be constantly soaking ourselves in God's Word and allowing Him to transform our thinking by His Spirit as we read His Word. This is the way to be prepared so that we don't give in to our temptations... the way for me to grow in trust and patience.

The desires of your heart

Psalm 37
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.


Was talking to Mum earlier today, and she reminded me that God knows our heart's desires. So I wanted to take another look at this verse in Psalms.

I don't think it means God will give me everything I want - as my loving Father, He knows that sometimes what I ask for and want is not what's best for me.

The verse before talks about trusting the Lord, then the start of this verse tells me to "delight" in the Lord. Then, as a result of delighting in Him, it says He will give me the desires of my heart. Maybe this also means that as I delight myself in Him He will shape my heart's desires, that His desires for me will become my desires?

A Nice End to the Day

Well, amidst the toughness of life, God's also been providing for our every need, and more... through friends and family who have been supporting us practically - from picking up a script for Lucy's medicine and getting it filled for us, to baking us cookies, and just being with us...

Blessed be the name of the Lord, in the land that is plentiful... on the road marked with suffering... when the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord".

But one of the best provisions tonight is a sleeping baby, who seems to be on the road to recovery. Morning is coming. Thank you, God. Blessed be Your name.

I said enough already!!!

Seems I've also got the same virus as Lucy now - no wonder she was, and still is, so upset!!

My daily devotion this morning was very appropriate, Handling Adversity.

"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD" (Job 1:21).

I've based the theme for the next edition of the magazine, which we're just finalising at the moment, on Habbakuk's words, "Yet I Will Rejoice". This is where the rubber meets the road. Amidst all the tough stuff of life, will I focus on God as Habbakuk and Job did, or will I focus on my circumstances? Sometimes it's really hard when we just feel so overwhelmed, but the choice is ours.

Yet I will rejoice. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Enough already

Feel like I've had enough already.

Realised after journalling last night that I use the phrase "I feel" a lot... which is not so good. I also realised that last night's sermon was spot on for me at the moment... reminding me to take my eyes off my suffering and not let it be my focus, and instead to trust God and know that He is faithful and working for our good to make us more like Jesus. Doesn't mean in any way it will be easy. I thought I had enough stress and suffering in my life when I heard the sermon...

Since then I've taken Lucy back to the hospital again as she had very high fevers and wouldn't settle since last night, and it looks like she's got tonsillitis so she's now on antibiotics. Poor little thing, as if having a cast on your arm isn't enough at 20 months!

We're becoming a bit too familiar with the emergency ward at the hospital, hope we don't have to go back again any time soon! Lucky they had a book about "Susy's Shoes", Lucy really loved that, she already has a bit of a shoe fetish.

I'm sure the hospital would agree, "Enough already!".

Perspective

Tonight's message was a great challenge to be seeing life from God's perspective... rather than seeing everything in light of our suffering, seeing through God's eyes, that He is wanting us to become more like Jesus - that God is more interested in our character development, than our comfort. Tom did a much better job saying it than I have here though.

The passage was Romans 8:28-39, and Tom reminded us that nothing can ever separate us from God's love, and our job is to trust Him. We need to remember amidst our suffering, that He loved us so much that He sent His only Son to die for us, to take our place, and to rise again... because He loved us and chose us before we were born.

The biggest challenge for me? v28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him". Trusting God even when times are tough and the moulding hurts... even when His answers to my prayers aren't what I would like them to be, or in the timing I would like them to be... Keeping His perspective on life. Hard work... but it's great that we don't have to do this alone, He's given us His Holy Spirit to help us keep His perspective.

Winding Down

Had an enjoyable night watching a movie with my friend and chatting over coffee. So much to ponder... just as well we saw a fairly early movie, especially considering we lose an hour's sleep tonight with daylight savings. I'm hopeless once I start pondering... journalling usually helps me wind down, so think I'll do that.

Fun

I like Chuck Swindoll's writing - I have a couple of his books about different Bible characters (David, Esther, Moses) and they're a really good read. I recently found his daily devotions on the web, and the one for yesterday was "Keep It Fun".

It's been two months since I blogged about relaxing. Finally a verse that kind of talks about it, in a sense (if relaxing and laughter go hand-in-hand as I think they do).

I'm off to the movies with a friend tonight, should be fun!

Hospital Visit

Today was my first visit as a Mum to the Emergency Department at the Hospital. I guess because it was the afternoon just before the long weekend, it was very quiet. We were the only people there when we arrived, which was very fortunate.

Lucy had a fall at home as she was chasing after the big kids. She fell down a step (just one) and fractured her elbow. Poor little thing, she kept screaming in pain, so after giving her a bath and some panadol I decided it was time to take her to the hospital just in case. Glad I did.

She now has a cast. She had to have an x-ray, actually a few x-rays, and the Doctor then said she'd need a cast. She obviously hadn't had a lot to do with little kids before. Lucy's 20 months old, so trying to get her to sit still while the cast was plastered on wasn't particularly easy.

At one point she was screaming so much I wasn't really thinking about where I was and who was there, just worried about my little girl, so prayed with her as I was fighting back tears and asked God to be her comfort and thanked Him for the Doctor and the nurse. Afterwards I realised they probably would have felt uncomfortable... hope they didn't. A mother's protective instincts over-ride everything else.

That was this afternoon. I'm a little worried about this week in particular - seeing more doctors and specialists and trying to finalise the magazine. They think she might need the cast for six weeks which is a looong time for a little kid.

On another note, just listening to the rain as I type. I love the smell of rain, and enjoyed it this afternoon before Lucy's little incident.

Surrender

Yesterday my mentor read a challenge to me, asking what areas of my life I'm not surrendering to God. Didn't take long to figure it out, at least the biggest area.

The future.

Surrender - an act of willing submission, a relinquishment of control. Submitting my future to the arms of a loving, faithful God, who created me, who knew me before I was born, who knows my deepest desires and dreams, who created the world and everything in it, who is all-knowing and wise.

But I'm also realising that surrender isn't just a one-off decision, it's something I must do on an ongoing basis. Every time I'm tempted to worry, I need to surrender, to willingly submit to God. As I was reflecting the other day, I need to surrender to the Holy Spirit, to allow Him to control my mind, and then I will have a peace about the future! It's my choice - worry, or have God's peace. It's a tough one...