Hang in there

After receiving an encouraging email from a friend, thought I'd head back to Psalm 57 which was a huge encouragement to me when things were extremely tough a while back. Verse one is the verse I held on to and kept coming back to in the past, but tonight the end of verse 3 jumped out at me.

'God sends forth his love and his faithfulness.'

Hang in there. Hold on to Jesus. Know God's love. Know His faithfulness. Rest in Him.

All I want for Christmas is...

hope.

It's Christmas again. I know it should be a time of celebrating the hope that Jesus offers, the hope of relationship with God now and the promise of heaven, a place where there will be no more pain and no more tears. But some days in the lead up to Christmas I've just been thinking it'd be better if we didn't have to face it (Christmas and all the stress that seems to come with it).

The girls are at the age where it's a very exciting time - they love opening presents, they love the lights, they love parties. But I guess for me Christmas reminds me of broken dreams, of what could have been but isn't. I realise it's best not to dwell on that, but sometimes it hurts.

So I went searching for a verse about hope, because I realise that hope is the best Christmas present anyone could give me.

Praying that God would fill your heart with hope this Christmas, that He would reassure you that He is good, that He alone is faithful.

Psalm 33:20-21 (New International Version, ©2010)

²⁰ We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
²¹ In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

A lot to learn about myself

I find it amusing how little I can know about myself after nearly 30 years! I found a self-profile I'd put together about a year ago and I'd put 'patience' as one of my best qualities!!! I guess there are lots of different situations that require patience, and in some I can be quite patient. But more recently I've discovered just how impatient I am!

Last night I found The Message version of Psalm 139, and it's excellent. I may not know much about myself, but God knows it all, AND He still loves me. That blows my mind.

Praise Him for His reassuring presence!! He is awesome!

Psalm 139:1-3 (The Message)

A David Psalm

^1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I'm an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can't take it all in!

Believe in Him

I love it when God surprises us!

'Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.' John 14:1

'If there is a God, do you think He could bring me some sense of peace?'

A few weeks ago I was flicking through the channels on TV and came across 'The Big C'. It intrigued me - watching someone deal, in a very real way, with the terrible news that they have cancer. Apart from the excessive use of the F word, and various inappropriate (in my view...) sexual references, I've wanted to keep watching the show just to see how she deals with the situation, how others react, etc.

In tonight's episode she asked this question of an older friend who went to church:

'If there is a God, do you think He could bring me some sense of peace?'

The old lady made a joke in response to the question, but it made me think, if a friend asked me the same question, how would I respond? I do believe God can give us a sense of peace, I have experienced it at times, but I don't always experience it.

Did a search on Bible Gateway for verses about peace, and I think this verse explains it well:

Philippians 4:6-7 (New International Version, ©2010)

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The key to experiencing the peace that God offers is in verse 6, that's why I don't often experience it, because I worry instead of praying and thanking God. But it confirms that definitely we CAN experience God's peace.

Has anyone else seen 'The Big C'. What did you think of it?

I wonder if the idea for the series came about after 'The Bucket List'? That was a great movie, definitely a tear-jerker!

Totally devoted to prayer?

I want to be, but I'm not.

Tonight after making a decision, it occurred to me that I hadn't prayed about it. In the scheme of things, it wasn't a big decision, but for me it was a reminder how easy it is to use human logic and speak to others for advice, instead of seeking God's wisdom on different issues I face in my life. It's the heart of sin, living life my way rather than walking with God and living life His way.

Colossians 4:2 says, 'Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.'

What a challenge.

The Wooden Spoon

Quote: 'The wooden spoon is the only solution' (supposedly based on Proverbs 13:24)

I understand the importance of discipline, but am not convinced about the whole smacking thing. Though the verse does say 'spare the rod and hate the child'.

What do you think?

Humungous Bottle

'You have collected all my tears in your bottle.' Psalm 56:8

That's gotta be one humungous bottle!!

I've had enough

Full stop.

The temptation to be legalistic

I like it when things are black and white, when they're clear cut, when there's no confusion. But I think there's sometimes a temptation as Christians to make certain issues out to be black and white, when they're not necessarily that way in the Bible. In our desire for order and clarity we can read into different verses to find a black and white solution to various issues that God just doesn't seem to cover in great depth in the Bible.

I'm not a theologian, nor do I want to be one. I'm just a person who God created to be in relationship with Him, who wants to live a life that glorifies Him. I stuff up more often than I choose to remember, but I have been, and continue to be forgiven by God's amazing grace. And I have recently been thinking that there are probably some things that will remain grey this side of heaven, that God hasn't made crystal clear in the Bible because we don't necessarily need to know the answer to those questions.

I want to spend more time getting to know the One who knows the answers, rather than struggling to make everything black and white so that I feel more comfortable about my actions. I want to spend my life gaining a better understanding of who He is as revealed in the Bible, and allowing Him to transform me and guide my decisions.

Gifts and women in ministry

Here's a question I'd never thought/heard about till very recently - is it appropriate for a woman to lead worship in a congregation of both men and women?

People often have quite strong views about women preaching or being pastors, but what about things like leading worship?

On reading the passage below, I think that if God has given us a particular gift and it brings glory to Him when we use it then we should be using it if He provides opportunities for us to do so.

'Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen'. 1 Peter 4:10-12

But recently I read some info about women's role in the church, and a reference to

1 Timothy 2:11-12: 'A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.' How does this apply in the context of leading worship in today's culture?

God's Spirit reveals our own brokenness

so that God can restore us.

A friend has been reading 'Broken Down House' by Paul David Trip and suggested I read a particular chapter she's just finished. Really enjoyed it, keen to read the rest of the book!

Found this brief video of Paul sharing a bit about the book.

He's already at work

'For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.' John 6:38

What does God want me to do? Should I continue with a particular ministry? There are so many decisions to be made on an ongoing basis. Sometimes making these decisions is tough and confusing.

Yesterday I went to a 'mission shaped evangelism' seminar and John North shared some great thoughts about letting Jesus minister to others through us right where we are, right now. I realised I've often been so caught up in thinking where God wants me next that I miss opportunities He has for me right now. John explained that where we are right now is right where God wants us to be - where we've living, the people we're in relationship with, the activities we're involved with - and that God is already at work in the lives of these people and He wants us to join Him in what He's already doing.

John also suggested that at times we can come up with our own ideas in ministry and ask God to bless our great idea, instead of looking at where He's already at work and being a part of what He's already doing. It occurred to me that there's a particular idea I had in my life and have been wanting God to 'bless', all the while He's been asking me to let go of my idea, and let Him show me His idea, when He's ready to show me. John suggested three simple steps in thinking through what we should do - reading the Bible, prayer (prayer that listens!), and a commitment to be obedient.

I'm really glad I was able to go along yesterday, to be reminded of God's sovereignty, and to be encouraged to relax in His will where He's put me right now.

Truth vs Feelings

If you've read any of my blogs, you'll most likely have seen that I have a tendency to think with my heart first. I'm an F in Myers-Briggs.

A few weeks ago our Pastor spoke of the importance of listening to God's truth in the Bible, as opposed to our feelings. This is something my Dad often tells me, but I usually rebel when he tells me - my pride gets the better of me and I just wish he'd leave me alone. When the pastor said it, I was more accepting of it, and I've been sitting on it for a few weeks and thinking more about it here and there.

My feelings scream all sorts of negative messages, and as I listen to them I worry and they become overwhelming. But when I finally challenge my feelings and look to God and His Word, he helps transform my thinking, to put my 'problems' in perspective, to remind me of His promises, of His undeserved grace and of His promise to guide my steps if I trust Him with all my heart and stop leaning on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Aagh, such a struggle. To listen to the truth rather than my feelings.

One at a time... or lots?

In Henry Cloud's book, 'How to get a date worth keeping', he recommends not 'dating' one person exclusively so as to enhance your opportunities of getting to know different types of people, and learning about your own behaviours and ideas. He recommends dating lots of people at once.

I guess it kind of depends on your view of 'dating' too, but I'm not really keen on the idea! It does seem kind of flirtatious to me, though I suppose there's nothing wrong with getting to know more than one person at a time - it's probably the dating context that worries me. I'm pretty sure I won't ever have to deal with this issue myself anyway, but what do people think about this idea?

It's linked to his view that dating is not about marriage, which I'm not entirely sure about either. Part of me says it's great for a guy and a girl to just get to know each other and have fun together (which in my mind may not necessarily be classified as dating, maybe 'catching up'? ;), but the other part of me says it's not fair to keep doing this with someone if you don't intend to at least consider a serious relationship (and eventually marriage) down the track.

Something Henry does cover which I agree is really important, based on my personal experience, is accountability. He suggests having a dating accountability team who you talk to about your dating experiences and get to 'vet' anyone you're growing to like. Trusted friends who will be honest and help you identify your weaknesses in a loving way, and encourage you to grow, and pray with and for you, are invaluable in life generally, and as Henry suggests, when it comes to dating.

Here are a couple of quotes I found helpful in the book:

'Dating is about getting to know a person, sharing, talking, doing things together, and exploring spiritual matters - and that is what friends do. So, in a sense, every relationship should begin there.' p218

'People who are good for you are going to have a threefold effect over time:

1. You end up closer to God...

2. You end up closer to others...

3. You become more of yourself.' p225-226

'Lose your idol to receive what God has for you. 'Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well' (Matt 6:33).' p208

Steps towards growth?

In Cloud's book, 'How to get a date worth keeping', he suggests undertaking an assignment to review your current interactions with people of the opposite sex, so that you can then make any necessary changes. I'm kind of keen to do the 'assignment' as he suggests it will help identify issues within ourselves that we can then work on so we can improve our interactions with people of the opposite sex. But I'm not sure if that's then suggesting that it's all up to me? I guess maybe it's not, maybe it's seeing the part I play in God's overall plan?

Anyway, Cloud writes (p52):

'God Himself will guide you into the next step of growth in your relational life, if you ask Him. When you ask Him how you need to change, God will bring you the wisdom and the circumstances that will help, and then you have to persevere in taking action.'

Reading books about these sorts of issues makes me realise the importance of seeking God's wisdom. It'd be great if God made these issues a little clearer and less grey in the Bible!

^{James 1: 4-6} Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Anticlimax

So I got hooked reading Elisabeth Elliot's Passion & Purity, and decided to read it before finishing Cloud's book. I was disappointed when I got to the end of the book - it just kind of ended. Not sure what I was expecting, but it was a bit of an anticlimax. Found some of their letters pretty surprising, especially one Jim wrote to her when they were engaged - perhaps 'fondling' meant something different to them than what comes to mind when I hear the word?!

What I appreciated about the book is that Elisabeth continually emphasises the importance of trusting God, even when we don't understand, of seeking Him first, and of surrendering everything to Him.

Clogged with wishes

'I was wishing that my wishes were what God wished, and if my wishes were not what God wished, I wished that I could wish that my wishes would go away, but the wishes were still there.'

Passion and Purity (p47), Elisabeth Elliot

Something's missing

Since talking through some of the stuff I've been reading in 'How to get a date worth keeping' by Henry Cloud, I've discovered one of the things that agitates me about the book so far - it seems to focus on what I (emphasis on I) can do, rather than what God can do.

I believe we do also play our part, but I also believe we should be seeking God's guidance, and talking to Him about the decisions we make, big and small. I'm guessing Elisabeth Elliot will focus more on this 'missing' aspect, and perhaps Henry will later in the book.

I do appreciate his emphasis on learning to enjoy the journey though, to relax and have fun, and to accept that this will involve taking risks. I guess I want those to be risks that I take with God, rather than on my own to simply satisfy my own desires.

Sharing life

This week has highlighted the great privilege it is to share life with friends - to be supported by some beautiful women of God.

I remember on a Vision Valley Camp with some of my best friends back in our school days, one of our leaders shared Hebrews 10:24-25 with us, about the importance of meeting together as God's people and encouraging and building each other up. This week I've seen the practical application of this verse as a number of friends have reached out to me, some without me having mentioned anything to them about what's happening in my life. An email from a good friend, a cuppa with another friend, a 'you've been on my heart' text message arriving at just the right time, and another cuppa with a great new friend who's been praying for me and the girls. I love the way God works!

It's so exciting being able to share life together, to talk about our struggles and our joys and to share what God's teaching us through all these, to think about how we can best serve Him with all He's given us, to pray for each other and to support each other so we can then reach out to others with God's love... to get into God's word together and think about it's practical application in our lives.

It occurred to me this afternoon how often we miss out on these opportunities because our lives are so busy. What a privilege to have friends, particularly friends who've been walking the journey of life a little longer, to spur us on in our walk with God. I think we need to pray for a willingness to invest in the lives of others, and for wisdom in juggling all the different priorities in life so we can make time to do this.

Laboratory of Learning

So I got sucked in to the Koorong 20% off sale - decided it'd be a good opportunity to buy a new book now that uni's finished for the year. Ended up buying both Passion & Purity (Elisabeth Elliot) and How to Get a Date Worth Keeping (Henry Cloud), which are both probably at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to relationships/dating. I also couldn't resist buying the latest Every Day with Jesus titled 'Soaring above the storm', I enjoy Selwyn Hughes writing and thought it'd be good to have a more directed devotional for a while.

I've started reading Cloud's book and so far my hackles are up and I'm not convinced it's going to be the world's most helpful book. But as a wise old man shared last night one of the keys as Christians is humility and being prepared to listen to other people's perspectives on God's Word and to ask God to reveal His truth to us, rather than assuming we're right. I'm not even sure what I believe when it comes to this issue anyway!

It's funny how your views change over time. Years ago I went out with a few guys just on one or two 'dates' and it was fun (mostly anyway!), though I wasn't particularly keen to develop a long-term relationship with a few of them from the start, the date/s gave me the opportunity to confirm that, rather than just writing them off. Now things are different. I guess there are less opportunities when you've got kids - a single mum probably isn't particularly desirable, if I were a guy I'd be looking and praying for a single woman who hadn't been married before and didn't have kids.

Anyhow, I digress. Many of Cloud's comments raise questions and concerns for me. He writes this pledge:

'I will date as an end in and of itself. I will not longer see dating as a place only to find a mate, but as a place to grow, experience, and serve other people. It is my new laboratory of learning, growth and experience.'

Laboratory?!!!! It sounds terrible!!!!! I guess all relationships are that to some degree, but for some reason it doesn't seem fair in a 'dating' relationship.

I'm all for growth and learning, and relationships are an important part of this, but I'm still not convinced that we should 'use' dating in this way. It sort of turns it all around as though to say it's all about me, which it shouldn't be at all. It should be about mutual enjoyment, encouragement and growth.

He also writes, 'I advised her to look at a date as an activity to get to know someone and spend time doing something fun, with no pressure.' I think this is good - being free to relax and be able to be yourself rather than having to put on some sort of dating fascade.

Cloud gives an example of a divorced woman who in his view needed to date for the sake of learning so that she could improve her ability to pick a good man, rather than jumping into a relationship where she felt 'in love'. I somehow doubt that dating would help her on this front!!! She's just as likely to fall 'in love' with the first person she dates. I'm sure it's a whole lot more complex than that.

Anyhow, I'm sure Cloud is a very wise man, I'm not meaning to give him a hard time, I'm just wanting to think carefully about his recommendations and figure out how I can best glorify God in this area of my life if there's an opportunity to in the future, which I'm hoping there will be! :)

in six months or your money back

On the topic of dating, a friend sent me a message yesterday recommending a book by Henry Cloud, 'How to get a date work keeping'. Googled the book and the caption is 'Be dating in six months or your money back'. Now that I've seen that part I'm not sure I'm so keen to read the book - yeah, I love the idea of it happening in six months if it's the right person and if that's God's timing, but I don't want to be just dating anybody for the sake of dating. My suspicion is that six months probably won't be God's timing either if the past is anything to go by.

Anyone else read this book, or Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliott?

First, First, First

The battle within continues, fighting for joy and peace throughout the challenges of each day. Then God reminds me to cling to Him - to come to Him and let go. He wants to be first in my heart.

'When we start to love [God's] gifts more than we love Him, we lose our contentment and joy.'

'Open your hands and let Him have what you’re holding.'

Taken from Charles Stanley's Holding Too Tightly sermon outline based on the story of the rich young ruler in Luke 12.

Exploding relationships

I'm having one of those moments when I feel like my head's going to explode with so many questions and things to think about. Yesterday I came across this interesting video related to the question, should girls pursue guys? My head says of course not! In an ideal world the guy should pursue the girl - he should be the leader, that's the way God designed it.

But my heart gets the better of me more often than not. In the video, it's suggested that guy/girl relationships should follow God's example - He chose His bride (us - the church) first, and He came after us. I think I agree that this should be the model for guy/girl relationships, but it also raises some questions.

I was chatting with a bunch of ladies about the issue this morning and one recommended the book 'Passion and Purity' by Elisabeth Elliot. Earlier today I had planned to head over to Koorong to buy the book I'd read about on the website, thought it'd be an interesting read. But after speaking to these ladies thought I wouldn't rush straight out just yet. Maybe I'll get Passion and Purity instead?

Found this interesting interview with Elisabeth Elliot about a response from a 17 year old boy to her book. He wrote, 'Elisabeth was extremely careful not to reveal her feelings for Jim. If she did, she would become the initiator and deny God her whole self.' I never really thought of it like that. He also wrote, 'Christians need to realize that God does not always want to take something away from us, but He wants to take us away from ourselves and our selfish flesh.'

I guess ultimately the key is our relationship with God - taking everything to Him, committing everything to Him, trusting Him in everything... though this is hard to do in practice!!

The black cloth and the gospel

There are some days where the weight of the black cloth seems so heavy - I find myself thinking and saying things I know I shouldn't think, I find myself trying to live my life independent of God because trusting Him means stepping out into the unknown and that scares me. I'm often so focused on my own needs and hurts that I don't see other people's needs and hurts and support them.

The black cloth. Sin. I heard the analogy last night about jewellers placing diamond rings on black cloths to make them sparkle even more, and look even more beautiful.

The diamond ring. The gospel. I finally realised that the gospel is about more than just Jesus (though He is at the heart of it!) - some other religions also believe in Jesus, but they don't believe the gospel. They don't believe that first we rebelled (and continue to rebel) against God, that Jesus lived a sinless life on earth and then paid the price for our sin by dying on the cross and being raised back to life so that we might enjoy relationship with God and the promise of hope for eternity with Him.

OK, there will be people who don't understand the term 'the gospel' at first (none of us did!), but that's why someone needs to share the message of all that Jesus has done for them, and the hope that He offers.

The black cloth is an important part of the story, but it's only the beginning. The gospel turns the black cloth into something special that can be used to the glory of God.

I read this last night, 'We were ultimately designed to find true joy, identity and purpose in God, but man sinned (Gen 3), which changed everything!' It hurt to read these words, because I realised how often I don't find my joy, identity and purpose in God. I seek after 'created' things, rather than the Creator Himself. When God is just waiting for me to come to Him so He can offer me true joy, identity and purpose.

Be strong and take heart

I had to laugh out loud at God's unbelievably impeccable timing giving us the exact word of encouragement we need at the precise moment we need it. When everything in me is screaming, 'But, Lord I can't do it, I just CAN'T, I want to obey You, but it's too hard', He steps in and says, 'Be strong and take heart'.

I've been thinking about which Bible character I'd like to put myself in the skin of. Initially I was thinking about the well-known characters that we see God doing great things through (David, Moses, Esther), but then I thought about the bleeding woman. I think I'd like to get in her skin - to have enough faith in Jesus, to reach out in desperation and touch his cloak, to be healed, and to be able to tell others of Jesus' amazing power to heal. I love that in the account of this story in Matthew, Jesus tells the bleeding woman to 'take heart', that her faith has healed her.

abandon

Hiding His Word in our hearts

I've been thinking about something I read the other day by Charles Swindoll about 'discovering your life message'. I kind of didn't like it, as it made me a bit uncomfortable - I felt like there's a lot more honing yet to be done in my life and I think I'd rather not be honed any more. He suggests that God has a unique message for each of us that no one else can share, and that the key to discovering this is spending time alone with God.

Charles writes, 'Nothing can so train you for life like the time you spend alone with Jesus.'

Psalm 119 v10-11 says, 'I seek You will all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands. I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You.' I remember hearing an awesome kids talk on v11 a long time ago where Peggy told us of the importance of reading God's Word and hiding His Word in our hearts.

As I struggle with one of the life messages God seems to be building in me, and wonder how on earth I'm going to make it through, God reminds me that His grace is sufficient for me.

Yesterday morning I met a friend who I'm just starting to get to know, and she was talking about God giving us His grace for today, sufficient for our needs TODAY, not tomorrow, today. Tomorrow He will provide grace for that day too, but right now He gives His grace for the situation I am in right now. His grace is sufficient.

tic-toc tic-toc tic-toc

Trying to get to sleep, listening to my stupid clock. So many thoughts buzzing through my mind. The middle of the night is not a good time to want to debrief and talk about deep stuff, especially when your cat's the only one you can chat to, and even he's sleeping.

Why 'the gospel' and not Jesus?

One of my pet peeves has been (and still is) references to 'the gospel' instead of Jesus. Maybe it's time for me to get over this? Maybe it shouldn't make me agitated, maybe it's a good thing?

I'm assuming the majority of the time when people say 'the gospel' the intention is that this incorporates Jesus' life, death and resurrection. But why do we use the term 'the gospel' instead of talking about Jesus?

Sounds kind of silly, but I wonder whether we can end up worshiping 'the gospel' instead of Jesus? I guess it depends on our definition of the gospel. But it's a bit like the Bible, it's an essential part of our knowing Jesus, but we don't worship the Bible, we worship Jesus.

Anyhow, if references to the gospel point people to Jesus then I'm all for them. As long as it ends up being about Jesus. Maybe I'm just confusing myself?!

If you could put yourself into the skin of any Bible character, which one would it be?

Charles Swindoll poses this question in his book, Moses - A Man of Selfless Devotion. My blog hasn't been a very interactive one in the past (understatement - in fact you could count the number of comments on one hand...) but thought I'd give it another shot.

If you could put yourself into the skin of any Bible character, which one would it be? And why?

I'm still thinking about my response, will probably post it later.

Waiting for the clouds to clear

I can only imagine what it'd be like to trek up a mountain for days and arrive at the top surrounded by cloud. Standing at the top of the mountain, waiting for the clouds to clear, hoping they will. Feeling exhausted but at the same time filled with anticipation and delight about the view soon to appear.

Image found at http://www.ipc.ac.nz/en/news/0811_01.php

Learning to Trust

I'm meant to be studying for my maths exam - have done some reading this morning but very distracted!! So took another look at Psalm 9.

'Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.' v10

I look to God's character and to countless stories of His faithfulness in the lives of others, and in my own life, and see a God who can be trusted. Yet for some reason I so often don't trust Him. I want to trust Him, but trusting Him means taking a risk, it means following Him into the unknown, though it's isn't the unknown for Him. He reaches out His hand, 'Trust me, I will never forsake you, TRUST me!'

Do not worry

Heard the passage about not worrying at the end of last night's sermon, made me a bit emotional. Thought I'd look it up this morning just as a reminder of God's promises and the importance of 'seeking first His Kingdom'. Read it in the Message - a pretty cool version of the passage!


Matthew 6:25-34 (The Message)

25-26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Sometimes I wish I was a snail

Sometimes I wish I was a snail, then I could hide in my shell.

I really dislike this ad

Another great song

I'm loving music more than ever at the moment - God's definitely using it to remind me how awesome He is, and to remind me of His faithfulness and love, to help me hang in there and cling tightly to Him.

Bring the Rain by MercyMe

Paul's Prayer

I'd love to have been part of the church of Ephesus when they received Paul's letter. So encouraging.

6I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3

That dreaded phone call

Why is that sometimes when I need to make a phone call, I just can't do it? Sheridan Voysey was keen for us to do a review of his latest book Open House 3 in the next edition of the magazine. It was interesting timing, because they'd written to us once before about the last volume and we didn't have space, but this time I was actually thinking of contacting him the same day he emailed, but I hadn't yet worked up the courage. After all, he speaks on the radio, I'm just Alison, a Mum and whatever else I am.

Anyhow, I was meant to call him yesterday or sometime this week and kept putting it off - I was nervous because I've never really officially interviewed anyone for the magazine, and he's on the radio. Having done a lot of the stuff I was aiming to do today earlier this afternoon I figured I should just bite the bullet and call him. He was very down-to-earth and easy to talk to. Phew. So my week that was looking rather chaotic, hasn't been as chaotic after all. Hooray! And now it's time for a cup of coffee.

Daring to believe

On my way to pick up Lucy from school - got a call that she wasn't well, but praising God I'd pretty much finished my assessment when they phoned - and heard this song again.

I love music. God so often uses songs to encourage me, and challenge me, and to point me to Him and remind me how awesome He is.

Learning, as I struggle and keep failing, to just press on and fight the good fight as God gives me His strength.

Before the Morning - Josh Wilson

'Would you dare to believe
that you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight'

Themes

I love it how at times God seems to teach us in 'themes'... you can trace His hand as His Spirit is at work in the lives of people around us and in our own life.

Just read this Daily Devotional, reminding me to keep trusting God and pursuing Him. It's based on Psalm 9 - which God really used to encourage me on Sunday morning through a great sermon about suffering.

A HOT Relationship

A friend shared with me a phrase he came up with a few years ago - 'For a HOT relationship you need Honesty, Openness and Trust'. He also suggested adding 'Courage, endurance and a thick skin' now that he's been married for a few years. I like it. He's a top bloke, and she's a top 'gal. I'm pretty sure they have a HOT relationship.

Leaning Hard

What do you when you can't sleep in the middle of the night? Eat a bread roll with butter and read for a bit.

More in Swindoll's book about Moses. He quotes one of my favourite verses Proverbs 3:5-6 and writes this:

'The before part, in verse 5, urges us to 'trust in the Lord'. That suggests relying on Him, letting Him take the lead, and yielding the steering wheel of our lives. The verse also notes that we are to do this with all of our hearts. This is not something done half-heartedly, reluctantly, or with reservations. It's an all-out, go-for-broke proposition.

At that point, however, Solomon adds a warning: 'Be careful not to lean on your own understanding.' In other words, don't rely on crutches of your own making. Don't attempt to limp along on your own strength. Instead lean hard. And while leaning, fully 'acknowledge Him'. That work 'acknowledge' includes the meaning 'to recognise'. In all your ways recognise Him.

Now comes the after part. His part. 'He will make your paths straight.'

My stronghold

How could I have got it so wrong?!

'I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart. I will tell of your wonders. The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.' Psalm 9

Fresh Direction

'Dpn't keep on yanking on those loose strings of your life, thinking your own plan is best. Bring the whole tangled knot to Him. Bring Him your failures, your false starts, and your well-intenioned crusades that landed you on the backside of a lonely desert. Let Him sort through the details of your life, and give you fresh direction.

No one unties knots like the Lord.'

'Lord, I am willing,
I am willing to receive what You give,
I am willing to lack what You withhold,
I am willing to relinquish what You take,
I am willing to suffer what You require.'

Moses - A Man of Selfless Dedication by Charles R Swindoll (p129)

Failure - an outstanding instructor

Reading about Moses in a Chuck Swindwoll book. I really love his writing.

He quotes Hudson Taylor (p17): 'It doesn't matter how great the pressure is; what really matters is where the pressure lies. Whether it comes between you and God or presses you nearer His heart.'

Later on he writes (p107), 'We simply cannot stand the thought of failure. Yet who ever said you and I have to succeed at everything we attempt? That's an artificial standard set up by men, not by God. As we've already seen, failure, though a painful pedagogue, can be an outstanding instructor.'

What a painful instructor failure can be at times!!

TomTom

I scored Dad's old iphone recently, complete with various apps he used, including the 'TomTom' GPS thingy.

Overall it's been excellent - had to visit an older friend who's like my grandma in hospital today, so used the TomTom to navigate there, then discovered she had been moved (thanks to the hospital for not telling us!!!). So had to use it again to get to Longueville - only thing I know about Longueville is that we had a work team building day at the Bowling Club there a few years ago. Thankfully the TomTom was able to guide me there.

The only thing that is rather off-putting is when it needs to recalculate the route. Every now and again it would tell me to turn back even though I thought I'd followed the directions I'd been given. Wondering whether it's when you go too quickly and it needs time to catch up or something (though not sure how you slow down on main roads without getting run up the back of), I can't figure it out, it was rather confusing, especially when it directed through some back streets near our place - I ended up going in circles for a bit. Had no idea where I was so just laughed and kept trusting it would eventually help me get home, otherwise would have resorted to the good old street directory.

Speaking of confusion, I also felt a bit upset when I arrived to visit my friend and she asked me who I was, whether I was the physiotherapist or something. When I told her it was me it was like the light-bulb went on, but she's definitely losing it a bit. Getting old is so sad!

And now I have half a day to get all the work I was hoping to start a few hours ago done...

I believe, help me in my unbelief

Check out this beautiful old song 'I believe, help Thou my unbelief' by Bill Gaither. Love these guys' voices, such beautiful harmonies!!

We often used to watch 'Homecoming' on TV (with Bill and Gloria Gaither) and had a good laugh - quite culturally different - but loved their hearts and the way they just worshiped freely at God's feet. Often enjoyed singing along.

'I take the finite risk of trusting like a child'

God's Provision

Logged on to InTouch to search for any devotions/sermons about God's strength being made perfect in our weakness, and thought I'd read today's Daily Devotional while I was there... discovered it's based on the same passage I was looking at earlier today.

God says, 'I know you blogged about it earlier today, but did you get it, did you REALLY get it?! I want you to know beyond a doubt that I am with you and I will NEVER leave you. I will provide for you. Trust me.'

I love the way God makes sure His message is crystal clear. He's pretty awesome. : )

Afraid? Confused? Look to Jesus

But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!” Matthew 14:27

Sinking like Peter, then hearing Jesus' voice as He reaches out His hand and holds me, “You have so little faith, why did you doubt me?” (v31)

Marley and Me

Saw Marley and Me last night (the second half of it anyway) - what a great movie. So many tears... made me want another dog even more.

I'm not usually an Owen Wilson fan, but I thought he played John well, and I liked John. I like that he wanted to stick it out even when things got tough. I like that he and Jen were honest with each other and honest about how tough life was at times. Love to watch it again, from the beginning next time!!

'A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary? '

John Grogan*

* I thought one of the kids said his name was xx Grogan when he'd written a message to Marley, but I thought I must have misheard it - surely they wouldn't choose that as the name for the family. But when I found the quote, sure enough, there it was... John Grogan!

Strengthened with all power by HIS glorious might

I love this passage in Colossians 1:10-12:

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

My wise brother reminds me that patience is a virtue. Unfortunately it's one I don't seem to possess.

Blown away

This morning I was blown away by God's grace. We had an amazing time of worship, where the Pastor just encouraged us to wait on God and to listen, a few people shared what God had laid on their heart, including different verses, and it was so encouraging. I just love how God speaks the right words to us at just the right time to remind us of His amazing grace and His faithfulness. I also love that Sarah deciding not to go out to Sunday School meant that we could have a cuddle and through that God could again remind me of His goodness in my little girls.

Can't remember where I read this, but I don't know what the future holds, but I know the One who does, and I know I can trust Him completely. This morning I was reminded again to keeping looking at Jesus, to just focus on Him.

Our God is sooo good. Thank you God for an awesome morning being blown away in Your presence! You are amazing!!

Holding on to the hand of my Saviour

:) :-) :)

'I will hold on to the hand of my Saviour
And I will hold on with all my might
I will hold loosely to things that are fleeting
And hold on to Jesus
I will hold on to Jesus for life'

Steven Curtis Chapman

Picnic Fun

The girls love picnics - the take-a-blanket and some food to a park (or the backyard) kind, not the chocolate bar (that I love).

This Sunday we're going to a picnic with a new bunch of friends from church, and I'm really looking forward to it. So are the girls, they're very excited.

I'm very thankful to our great God for our new friends, and for picnics!

Very Clever People

Pixar has a bunch of very clever people working for them - check out this behind the scenes interview. Love a lot of their movies.

Abide in His Love

'As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.' (v9-11)

John 15:1-17

He is the vine, we are the branches... Apart from Him we can do nothing. (v5)

The devil is in the detail

One of my old bosses always used to say that the devil is in the detail. She was a big picture person, and she hated the details. I, as her PA, was the opposite. Now that I think about it, there may be more to the phrase than I ever realised before.

Definitely for me, sometimes the details have confused the more general message God has given me. I'm not saying details aren't important, I think they are - but sometimes they can be a distraction, and may be my heart confusing God's original, simple message. The disciples didn't know all the details when Jesus called them to follow Him, they just followed. They just looked at Jesus.

Just discovered this version of Psalm 46:10, from The Message. Love it!

8-10 Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
breaks all the weapons across his knee.
"Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
loving look at me, your High God,
above politics, above everything."

Obedience that costs

When catching up with friends on Monday night, I was reminded of something God clearly told me a while back (not audibly, but it was very clear). Initially my thoughts were: 1) God is soooo good; 2) no worries, if that's what He wants me to do I'll do it. But then as time passed I realised just how hard it would be to do what God had asked me to do.

This is probably the most I've ever struggled with obedience. I've already failed lots, and when I haven't failed I've struggled an awful lot! But through it God has been teaching me more about the depth of His love for me.

So often as I've heard the story of God asking Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, I've kind of skimmed over it. The fact that he doesn't have to go through with it is the bit that stands out most. It's not nice to sit too long with the feelings Abraham would have experienced as he built the alter and laid his son Isaac on it. But sometimes that's what it's like for us as we obey God. Obedience often costs.

Make me strong again

I love the honesty of the Psalms. I smiled when I read this verse tonight. it's just so real and kind of matter-of-fact. I love that God chose the Psalms to be included in the Bible. I love even more that He promises to be our Strength.

'I am sad and tired. Make me strong again as you have promised.' Psalm 119:28

Life

Sometimes life is a hard slog.

So many emotions in one day...

Catching up with an old friend over coffee. Watching Sarah and Lucy play with my friend's little girl. Tantrum number 1 (actually, perhaps number 2 or 3 by this stage...). Listening to beautiful music on the radio. Hearing that this week is marriage celebration week. Opening my uni assessment results and getting a distinction for the subject I'd least expect it in! Sarah sharing the excitement with me and giving me a cuddle. Saying thanks to God with Sarah and Lucy. Listening to the girls giggling in the bath. Our cat coming over to sit on my lap and have a cuddle. Another tantrum. Catching up with some more friends over a cuppa. Hearing my little girl coughing in her sleep - anticipating a long night. Being reminded that God tells me to cast all my cares on Him. Being surprised to have a pretty good night's sleep - thanks God!!

Laying our cares at God's feet

As I read tonight's devotion about laying our cares at God's feet, an old song started playing in my head, 'I cast all my cares upon You, I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet, and any time that I don't know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon You.' Simple song, but a great one.

Who is this?

35That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." 36Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
39He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

40He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

41They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

Mark 4

Afraid I'm just like the disciples - often lacking faith and afraid. But then I see Jesus again. I am reminded that NOTHING is beyond His control.

Any offensive way

I found this scrappy bit of paper in my Bible the other day - I'd written on it during our Bible Study on Psalm 139. I also blogged about it back then.

We'd been encouraged to pray and ask God to show us 'any offensive way' in us (v24). Four months on the challenge is just as great. But God's grace is just as sufficient as it was four months ago and as it will be four months from now.

Belong to Him

A number of years ago I heard this beautiful song on the radio as I was driving, I remember crying when I heard it. And that was before I'd been through what I have now -think it was a few years before I was married. I can't find a version I can listen to on the web - might search for the CD next time I'm at Koorong, but here are the words.

God rejoices over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).


Joanna Carlson, Belong to Me

She Walks In And Closes The Door
Shuts The World Out Of Sight For Another Lonely Night
And She Cries As She Kneels On The Floor
For This Empty Room And This Solitary Life

But Heaven Is Hearing And Sharing Each Tear
And I Know The Father Is Near
He's Saying
You Can Belong To Me
I'll Cherish You, Treasure You, Love You Completely
Someday You'll Finally See
How Precious You Are In My Eyes
You've Never Been Out Of My Sight
I Love You For All Of Your Life
You Can Belong To Me

A Little Boy Lies On His Bed
Wonderin Where Daddy's Gone And Did He Do Something Wrong
And He Hides All The Fears In His Head
As He Tries To Be Strong
But He Feels So Alone

And Heaven Is Hearing And Sharing Each Tear
And I Know The Father Is Near
He's Saying
You Can Belong To Me
I'll Cherish You, Treasure You, Love You Completely
Someday You'll Finally See
How Precious You Are In My Eyes
You've Never Been Out Of My Sight
I Love You For All Of Your Life
You Can Belong To Me

It's not always about doing

This is what the Sovereign Lord,
the Holy One of Israel, says:
“Only in returning to me
and resting in me will you be saved.
In quietness and confidence is your strength."

Isaiah 30:15 (New Living Translation)

I had to read the 'resting in me' bit a few times - initially it didn't make sense. As someone who likes to get on and do things, I was a bit baffled for a while. But then suddenly it started to make sense. God has done it all.

I remembered back to Sunday morning's message, that Jesus is the heart of the gospel. Only by resting in Him will we be saved! It's not about what I do, it's about resting in Him and what He has already done on the cross. Sure, as we rest in Him He propels us forward to do stuff, but not the other way around.

'Only in returning to me and resting in me'. God reminds me to get my priorities right, to seek first His Kingdom, to rest in Him. Instead of trying to figure out what to do, there are times when I need to just rest in Him. That's all. Rest. Why do I find that so hard?!

Dancing

Still loving ceroc. The one thing I dislike about it, apart from the 'unusual' guys (usually older), is that it gets the endorphins going. They say endorphins are the chemicals released in the brain to make you feel good, and that exercise helps release these chemicals. Though ultimately they're very good, I'd rather feel this energised earlier in the day, not when I should be going to bed!!!

It's heaps of fun though. Loved dancing with one guy who kept dancing ahead of the instructor in our beginner class, most of the other guys were on their first lesson so he's had a bit more practice - he has this really funny laugh too.

One asian lady I met last week told me she hopes I find a nice young man there, doubt that! She was sweet. Oh yeah, and this other asian girl came up to me and said hello - I stood there awkwardly for a bit and asked her what the link was, she then told me her name which didn't help at all, then it occurred to me I met her in class last week. Der. How embarrassing!! What's worse, I still can't remember her name. I'm pretty sure it has two syllables.

Yesterday

Last night I played keys at church for the first time in a few years. As the service began I was so nervous, haven’t been nervous like that in a while.

When I played at another church and at college a few years ago I was part of a big band and I usually just played (didn’t sing on a mic as there were plenty of singers), but last night it was just the leader on his guitar and singing, and me on piano and singing. I struggle to play fast songs so that was nerve-racking, especially without drums. To make matters worse, the lights at the front of the church had been turned off just before we started, so I could barely read the music. In the final song I had to drop out for a bit because I couldn’t read the chords at all... it was terrible. Maybe I need a magnifying glass next time I play?

Earlier in the day I enjoyed being part of another church service, catching up briefly with some old friends, and meeting a few friendly new people. Then had to rush off for father’s day stuff. It was a busy day, but sometimes busy days are good – there’s less time to think. Saying that, this morning’s devotion from 103.2 was titled, ‘Simply resting’. Hmmm.

Run to Jesus

I still love how God speaks to us so personally, and how His timing is so perfect. Here’s what I read in my devotion tonight that reinforced part of the great message I heard this morning. It’s not about me and what I can do for God, it’s about Jesus and what He’s already done for me.

‘The prophet Isaiah wrote that our strength comes from trust in God (30:15). When life gets rough and feels as though everything will come apart, stop rushing and wondering and run to Jesus. He is the Anchor of your soul, the One who is strong and faithful and has promised never to abandon you.’ p5 Charles Stanley, Seeking His Face

RUN TO JESUS!!!!

Reminiscing

I’ve caught myself reminiscing about days gone by a few times recently.

Good memories of a walk along the beach getting to know a guy, even though nothing came of it. Good memories of enjoying yum-cha with the family ‘on release’ from hospital when I’d either just had Sarah or was about to have her, can’t remember that part which is terrible I know! The food seemed extra special having eaten hospital food for a week or so.

I’m finding that reminiscing can bring sparks of hope. There’s nothing like hope to keep us going. It’s good.

Putting aside my feelings

Very often (nearly always, I’m afraid) when I come to church my feelings are uppermost in my mind. This is natural. We are human, we are “selves”, and it takes no effort at all to feel. But worship is not a feeling. Worship is not an experience. Worship is an act, and this takes discipline. We are to worship “in spirit and in truth”. Never mind about the feelings. We are to worship in spite of them.

From ‘Let me be a woman’ by Elisabeth Elliot, p5

Put on the garment of praise

Tonight as we looked at this passage in Isaiah, an old song that we used to sing when I was growing up kept running through my head, 'Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, lift up Your voice to God, praise with the Spirit and with understanding, O magnify the Lord'.

It sounds kind of old-fashioned - maybe we could sing, 'put on the clothing of praise' instead, though it doesn't have the same ring.

Tonight I really GOT the first line of that song, 'Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness'. Yes, God can replace the spirit of heaviness with a beautiful garment of praise as we look to Jesus. What an awesome God!

Friendship

I've been thinking a lot about friendship of late. It's amazing how much you learn out of a broken relationship. Still so much to learn, but I'm learning more about what I value in a friendship, and what I potentially bring to a friendship. I guess mistakes are an opportunity to reflect, and think about how you’d like to do things differently in the future.

One of my best friends was the first person I phoned after finding out some pretty devastating news last year, and she offered to come and spend the night with me - it meant so much to have her there, to be able to cry with her, have her pray with me, and just be together. I was talking with her about friendship yesterday, particularly in relation to guy/girl friendships, and she reminded me that there will always be an element of risk in relationships, but that honesty is really important, knowing you can be up front with each other.

Friendship. Someone else suggested that appreciating friendship is learning to live in the moment – learning to value a person and their friendship for what we bring to each other’s lives in the here and now. Friendship. So many issues yet to be explored.

God's purposes in difficult times

Just read this Daily Devotional and thought it was worth sharing. I've definitely found that hard times drive me to 'seek opportunities for [God's] companionship'. It's then I'm reminded most that He is a good God, that He is faithful, reliable and merciful.

To date or not to date

The sermon on Sunday night was on relationships. I was hoping it’d be about relationships in general, but it seemed to focus on male/female relationships. I was a bit worried about it being a little too close to home, and how I’d react – sure enough my reaction was pretty much as I expected, had a good old cry.

Something else that stood out in that book ‘Boy meets girl’ was a comment that the girl in one of the stories had to learn to submit her emotions to God. Sometimes I hate my emotions!!!!

Why do I have to spill the beans when I’m interested in a guy, and ruin a potential friendship? Why do I then avoid him like the plague?

After church a friend and I were chatting about the idea of dating and she recommended a book by Henry Cloud. She said that in it he suggests going on as many dates as possible, and that going on a date doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get married. True. But initially my reaction was one of caution - I’m not sure it’s such a good idea, especially in my situation now. This idea might also be easier for people who are extroverts, and people who thrive on building new relationships, and for those who are more easily able to remain objective (and not overly emotional). Maybe it's the term 'date' that I have a problem with as it sounds more like a commitment, even though I guess it's not necessarily.

Not even sure why I’m worrying about it really – it’s not like there are opportunities jumping out at me ;-)

Interested in the journey

I had this book ready to give a friend, but at the last minute I changed my mind. It’s called ‘Boy Meets Girl’ by Joshua Harris (author of ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’). I came across it this week when we moved, and read a few bits again. Interesting what you pick up on when your life circumstances have changed and you have a different perspective. I also have a lot more questions reading it now at a different stage of life. It was a helpful reminder though that God’s using this tough stuff to grow me in Him and develop my character.

‘God is interested in the journey, not just the destination… God is in no rush. He wants to use this process, and all the questions and uncertainties it involves, to refine us, sanctify us and increase our faith.’ pp74-75

I want to get better at relaxing and enjoying the journey. I’m too eager to work out the destination and find the quickest route to get there.

He will guide me

Psalm 32:8-9

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.

9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.

Sounds ridiculous, but I read verse 9 several times, and wasn’t sure what the verse was getting at. Checked my NIV study bible cheat notes and here’s what it says, ‘God’s servant must be wiser than beasts, more open to God’s will then horses and mules are to the will of their masters.’

Though I know God’s plans are best, there are times I still struggle to accept His will. But reading verse 8 again, I’m filled with a sense of anticipation, that God will guide me and advise me… even though it may not be just yet!

Tired from the journey

Tonight this verse stood out to me as our Pastor was speaking about the story of the woman at the well:

'..,Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well...' John 4:6

It reminded me of God's heart for people - that even when Jesus was tired, He was still thinking about other people's needs. If I want to be like Jesus, I've got a mighty long way to go!! I'd love to have Jesus' heart for others and be able to still love and care for them despite my tiredness. At this point I just feel tired from the journey.

Today's been kind of a big day - sang both services, shared a bit this morning during the service, and we're preparing to move, probably this week. I think reflecting back over the last 19 months or so made me feel a little overwhelmed. God has been incredibly faithful, but His faithfulness doesn't erase the pain.

This morning's sermon was on Job - it was an excellent sermon. This is embarrassing to say, but I had never read/heard the ending of Job, and realised that there's a 'happy' ending. I thought Job just had a miserable life his whole life. I was excited to see God turned things around for him.

Oh yeah, and tonight it was great to chat more deeply with a few people after the service - one gave me a hug and just encouraged me, and another offered to pray with me. That's what the body of Christ should look like - people supporting other in life and pointing each other to God.

Honest cries of breaking hearts

are better than a hallelujah sometimes.

Thanks Amy Great for writing this beautiful song.

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking we can only come to God when we have everything sorted. We may even think we can come to him in our brokenness, but that we need to have our emotions and thoughts sorted before we come to Him, but David often expressed heart-wrenching pain to God in the Psalms.

Honest cries of breaking hearts. We can pour them out to God, His love is not dependent on us in any way, that's why it's called grace - a free gift.

Complicated

Last night as I lay in bed, the main thought running through my mind was 'life is complicated'.

Since I woke up this morning, God has constantly been reminding me to enjoy today, and stop worrying about tomorrow. Yeah, life may be complicated, but God gives me the strength to deal with today. He knows my needs. Matthew 6:31-35

My grandparents were down from Queensland recently for my Pa's 80th birthday. Yesterday we took the girls to the beach and they absolutely loved it, especially Lucy. Lucy lives for the moment, and enjoys all the good things God's given us. Meanwhile I was getting frustrated because I thought it was too cold for them to be in the water, but Lucy wouldn't listen to me, she was determined to get in the water. I was worried they might get sick again if they got too cold. I also don't like getting sand everywhere.

Sarah and I did have fun drawing in the sand and building various shapes, but I know it would have been more enjoyable if I'd been prepared to worry a little less, and just enjoy the opportunity God had given us. To enjoy today.

Using our Imaginations

I read this interesting thought in Hope 103.2's Life Words (daily devotional), titled 'A Different Way of Seeing', on Friday.

The writer to the Hebrews sees faith as focussed on what we may not yet see. God may even guide our imaginations to stir us and sustain us when things look bleak.

I guess God may sometimes choose to use our imaginations to give us hope? I guess though ultimately our hope should be in Jesus.

Rediscovering Jesus

My Great Aunty's friend gave her a book to give to me (not sure why exactly, but it was very generous of them), called 'The Indwelling Life of Christ: All of Him in All of Me' by Major W. Ian Thomas. In the introduction he writes:

'The utmost need in every ministry group, every missionary outreach, every denomination, is to rediscover the Lord Jesus Christ and the indispensability of His indwelling presence within the believer. This means encountering the risen living Lord who shares His life with us on earth on our way to heaven... so that He may accomplish through us what He began to do in His own physical body two-thousand years ago.'

Think it'll be a good read. Our greatest need: to encounter and rediscover Jesus.

Foodscapes

I'm working on a creative arts unit for primary school students as part of my studies. I'm not very artistic, or particularly creative, so it's proving interesting, but I came across these great works of art made entirely from food. This one's my favourite - I'd love to be able to create something like that out of food!! They're all very clever though.


One of Carl Warner's Foodscapes

Pondering about Jesus

Jesus. In Him I find complete acceptance, just as I am, no strings attached. Jesus. When I need a listening ear, someone to share my concerns with He's there waiting for me to come to Him. Jesus. He offers peace, true peace, peace amidst the storm. Jesus. He's a Solid Rock. I can depend on Him 110%. Jesus. He has the power to heal. Jesus. He sets me free from sin and death. Jesus. He offers hope. Jesus. Life without Him isn't the same. Jesus. He offers to carry my burdens. Jesus. He meets my every need.

Inspired by this post from InTouch.

All good things must come to an end

Tonight was the final episode of this series of Doc Martin. What a shame. It was a great final episode though - I love a happy ending. I also think it was the most realistic (albeit a bit quick) labour footage I've seen, apart from the horrid videos they show you in birthing classes. I felt her pain. Gonna miss the show. Sad I know.

Skipping a Beat

There are times my heart still skips a beat... like when you watch a good old chick flick. I know there's a whole lot more to love, and there's a whole lot more to life than that kind of love (like experiencing the awesome love and grace God offers us!), but sometimes it's still nice when your heart skips a beat, even if maybe it shouldn't.

Organ donation

I've been thinking more about organ donation the last few days. I have yet another sinus infection, despite the recent surgery, and today discovered I also now have conjunctivitis and managed to pull a muscle in my neck (the doctor told me the name of it, but can't remember what it was called). I sound like a hypocondriac.

But got me thinking, lucky sinuses aren't an organ that could be donated to someone when I die - you'd probably be better off without sinuses than with mine. Maybe if you didn't get allergies they might be alright though. And not sure my right cornea would be much good, seeing as it's not actually mine, someone kindly donated it to me when they died - guessing it can't later be passed on again? Though it has been very good, especially compared to my own cornea that they had to remove a few years ago.

Not only am I keeping the doctor in business, but also the pharmacists - more antibiotics. Much as I hate them, sometimes they're a necessity.

'Life, it's nothing like the brochure'. I think it's a quote from 'As Good as it Gets' but can't remember for sure.

Espoused Theory

I was chatting with a friend about something that particularly stood out to me from tonight's sermon - about making sure we are worshiping God first, nothing and no-one else (that we don't have any other 'idols'). She reminded me that it's easy to say, but not so easy to do. She encouraged me that we need to keep submitting everything to God, and asking Him to help us in our weakness.

Made me think of espoused theories, and how it's easy to say we will do something, but what we actually end up doing (theory-in-use) often doesn't match up. But the great encouragement we can take as Christians is that God's Spirit can enable us to move from an espoused theory to a theory-in-action.

Challenged

Sometimes I really dislike being challenged. It often requires me to take action, to make a change. I like 'doing', and taking action, but only when it's comfortable, or at least relatively comfortable. Being challenged is usually uncomfortable. But ultimately it's about growing and being transformed, and that's a good thing.

After pondering more on Sunday night's sermon, and other discussions recently in Bible Study, I decided I have been tempted to turn to the internet instead of to Jesus. I know this will sound very strange, but it really has been an issue for me. So I've removed my profile from some sites. I'm still thinking about the whole blogging thing and working through whether I should stop blogging altogether.

I've been challenged that I need to be relying completely on Jesus, not on anything or anyone else, and that includes the internet!!

Omnipotence

Sarah was playing with a toy ute after I wrote my last blog entry and I noticed something I'd never seen before on the side of it - a sticker that said 'omnipotence'. Unlimited power. Yes, our God is omnipotent, all-powerful. What a great, timely reminder. I love the ways God teaches us. He also gave me a lovely surprise too. Thanks God!

Faithfulness

I know I seem to quote songs a lot, but this one just keeps going over and over in my head thanks to 103.2.

'I'm tired of putting one foot in front of the other.' Can't remember the rest of the song, other than something like 'let me rest my soul'.

Just read a post by Jean where she suggests that faithfulness enables us to 'persevere when the days feel long and weary, and I'm tired of putting one step in front of the other'. Faithfulness. Must be a fruit I'm lacking in.

Incredible Sculptures

I've been learning about different artists for uni and came across this guy, Ron Mueck, whose work is incredible. I'm not usually into art, but this is pretty impressive. Take a look. The first images that appear on this youtube clip aren't the better ones in my opinion, so hang in there to see some amazing sculptures. If you google him you'll find some other photos of his work - they just look so realistic!!

Here's another link with some more pics and info about his sculptures that were able to be viewed in the National Gallery of Victoria earlier this year.

He makes it enough

As I lay in bed listening to Sarah cough and waiting for the next lot of panadol to kick in I was thinking about something else in last night's sermon, that Jesus takes even the smallest thing we have to offer and makes it enough. When it comes to just resting in Him and waiting for God to reveal the next step, I feel I don't have much to offer God... sometimes it seems like only a teeny-tiny amount of trust. But His grace is sufficient for me.

For the last few days the words of this song have often been playing in my head from 103.2: 'I'm giving it all back to You, this is my surrender'. Looked it up and it's a Steven Curtis Chapman song. Great words.

Does it all sound the same?
Are my words getting through?
I’ve been trying so hard
and I’m about to break
So here I am with all I have

And I’m giving it all back to You
All back to You
I surrender
Yeah, I’m giving it all back to You
All back to You
This is my surrender
Take it all

And what song can I sing
but the song that You give
I have nothing to bring
that did not come from Your hand
So here I am with all I have

All my plans and all my dreams
I’m giving it all to You
I lay it all down at Your feet
I’m Yours

So what song can I sing but this song?

Our Great Provider

Though I still feel like a dog, it was great to get to church tonight and hear a great message reminding me that Jesus is my great Provider, that I need to look to Him and Him alone to provide all my needs. Not anyone or anything else. In Jesus I am made new. Only in Jesus.

I really hope we can all get some decent rest tonight and that the sickness ends soon.

Made new in Jesus

I love the words of the song, 'Here We are Now' by Abandon. It's often playing on 103.2 and it was only yesterday that I really noticed the words. It was one of those songs that I didn't particularly love when I first heard it, but the more I've heard it, the more I've grown to like it.

'You are my hope when I'm broken... I am made new'

In Jesus we're made new. What a promise!! What an amazing God!!

Instrumental vs Relational

I really dislike reading papers and books put together by intellectuals. Words for the sake of words bug me. It's good to challenge your thinking, but a lot of documents put together by intellectuals seem to only challenge your thinking if you think hard enough to figure out the language they use, and then what they're trying to say.

Unfortunately uni love these kinds of documents. I was reading one of them today for maths curriculum and the author referred to this idea of instrumental understanding and relational understanding. I won't try and explain it here, I kind of struggled my way through it. But it made me think about relationships with other people and how the internet could be considered a tool that provides us with instrumental understanding. We learn about each other through emails, blogs, facebook, online dating services. It's the quick way to build a picture, but it's not the full picture, it's only a tiny glimpse of the picture and the picture someone wants us to see.

Relationships the way they should be are based on relational understanding. Sounds kind of obvious but I think the internet prevents us from gaining this kind of understanding of other people. I've fallen into the 'trap' - not that I'm blaming the internent, I'm the one who decided to use it!!

Where to from here? Stop writing on my blog? Stop using facebook? Remove my profile from the sites I've signed up to? I don't necessarily think I need to do that at this point, but perhaps limit my use of them, and focus on trying to gain better 'relational' understanding of others, outside of the internet.

Book Doubles

We've been going through stuff to work out what we can cull before we move again. Can't believe how much we accumulate!!

I don't think I've really had a good look through all the books on my shelf since a few years and a few moves ago (at least before the girls were born), and I'm embarrassed to say that when I reorganised them this week I discovered that I have two copies of 'Know and Tell the Gospel' and 'The Pursuit of Holiness'. Not sure how that happened. If anyone would like a copy of either one, let me know.

Keeping the Doc in Business

The pounding headache. There's nothing quite like it. Better not be sinus again!! Little Lucy's still sick too, so back to the Dr we go - someone's got to keep him in business.

Meant to start uni this week. Did about an hour yesterday but had to finalise the magazine too. I already feel like I'm behind and the semester's only just begun. Sigh.

Speaking of doctors, was hoping Doc Martin would be on last night but it wasn't. Looking forward to the next episode.

Yay!

Danced again tonight (Ceroc), I love it, especially when you get to dance with a guy who knows what he's doing and leads confidently it's so much fun. One of the guys I got to dance with is a brilliant dancer, a few times I asked, 'is that what you wanted me to do?' kind of laughing, as I wasn't sure I was following him, he said, 'yep, you're doing great'. i said I'm not very good at following and he said he thought I was following really well, better than some of the girls who've been dancing for years - I doubt that, but he was very encouraging. I really enjoyed dancing with him. I had no idea what I was doing, but I didn't need to cause he just made it happen.

Later he said that the key to dancing is using your body to communicate. Tonight it just seemed to click, as one guy said it would by about week three. I seemed to (on the whole) get the knack of following... finally!

Another guy in the beginner's class kept pulling me up when I wasn't following his lead. When I finally got it towards the end, he looked incredibly surprised and said 'yay, that was great'. I felt kind of chuffed.

Something I haven't got the knack of is asking a guy to dance. You're supposed to be able to ask anyone to dance during the 'freestyle' segment, but I haven't been game to do that as yet, other than with one guy who danced with me last week and goes to my cousin's church, and whose name I actually remember.

Thanks Ceroc Australia for three fun nights so far, and many more to come I hope!

Criticism

It's easy to criticize. It's easy to judge. It's easy to notice flaws and things that need to be fixed.

It's usually easier for people to complain that to say they appreciate something.

Thanks to the lovely lady who emailed me this morning about the last edition of the magazine. I'll probably email back at some point when I've vented my anger and thought through an appropriate response. Jesus is the reason we write the magazine!!

Can't remember how many positive comments it takes to negate one negative comment, but I know that I want to try and be affirming of others and what God is doing through them. I'm not saying we shouldn't be trying to improve, but maybe some people could learn to be a little less critical.

One Big Family

Last night I visited a friend's church. She and her husband were leaders at the church I grew up in about 16 years ago. They're still a great couple, and a huge encouragement, even though until recently I hadn't seen or touched based with her in a long time!

I really enjoyed being part of their church family for the night, after all we are one big family under Jesus. Spoke to lots of friendly people and had some good conversations, even after telling some of them a bit of my story. That's the way we should be as the body of Christ. The sermon was on just that, how we should be serving one another, and the importance of growing together.

Family. I love my family - they've been such a huge support to me, especially the last few years. Many times I've phoned them in tears to ask them to pray, and they've been there. Even a number of my Aunties have been a great support. Saturday night my brother and sister-in-law took me to one of those yummy chocolate places for the best hot chocolate I've ever had (american marshmallow white hot chocolate), and my amazing parents looked after the girls while we went. Yep, God's been very good to me, giving me the best family. Including Sarah and Lucy of course!!

I'd love to live closer to my friend's church, it seemed like a great family. Not that the church I'm going to isn't, but there aren't many people my age or stage of life. It was also good to meet another friend I'd never met face-to-face, and his brother.

Pass

I've never been so happy to hear the word 'pass'. It's not a great result, but I passed. Both subjects. Phew. After a big semester - my first with two girls by distance, while I had sinus surgery and kept doing the magazine - I'm happy with a pass. Shouldn't expect too much. Mum says things can only go up from here, I hope she's right and I think she probably is. Either way, God's got my future in His hands.

Time for a change

I checked out the new blogger templates available yesterday and decided it was time for a change. Got the girls to help me a bit, which when we got to deciding background colour Sarah of course wanted pink. I asked what other colour she liked as I didn't really want to make it pink, so we went with purple. Such an important decision!